Memorial Day 2014

A Memorial Day Walk
Photo By  Rebekah Mozilo

The AZ Mom of Many Hats Blog has been quiet for a while.  I have not abandoned it, but I have slowed down posting a bit as I have been making some life changes - professional certifications, opening my coaching and speaking business - Woman Up Movement, and launching my children into the world as self sufficient and good human beings.

As I sit here this morning, it strikes me that it is  in this great country, where my family has a long history and commitment to freedom - dating back to the Mayflower and The American Revolution, that I have the opportunity to discover, rediscover, live out my passions and purpose, raise my children in faith of my choice, speak the words of my heart with freedom, and the freedom to work in a field of my choice and reap the benefits of my hard work.

On this day, I am so eternally grateful to those who lived and died in service, so that today, May 26, 2014, that my children and  I would be able to live our lives in freedom.  The post below, holds special meaning to me in that it is a shared experience with one of my daughters. It also holds special meaning in what each person gave to defend the rights and freedoms of all who call the USA home.

A Memorial Day Walk

Not long ago, I took my daughter to the Veterans Cemetery in our town.  She is an avid and very talented photographer and was drawn to the emotion, the landscape, and the composition of the cemetery.  As a tribute to those that served in the military and our country, she wanted to capture a respectful and beautiful image of what is often remembered as a dark and sad place.

The Cemetery is along a major road that we travel often so we catch a glimpse of it regularly.  But when on days when there is a national celebration of Veterans and Service Persons, or on days when another is committed back to the earth after a life of service or a sacrifice in service, it is even more noticeable. On those days, the land is peppered with the colors that represent the freedoms we have in the United States. The usually brown and grey desert landscape is brightened by the Red White and Blue.

Service support groups lovingly and patiently place a flag at each headstone at the cemetery. I thought of that loving service that they provided as we walked through the rows of headstones on the day I took my daughter to capture the images.  What a wonderful tribute and show of appreciation on the part of the organizations so dedicated to making sure our service members have the colors they served adorn their resting places.

But, as we we walked through the headstones and eventually parted directions, my focus shifted as I began reading the epitaphs.

I saw the awards, medals, and commendations by those that lay beneath.  The dates etched in the stones so clearly defined the moments in history that they walked the earth, served their country, and fought for our freedoms.  The realizations that some had long life and others only a brief walk on this earthly home sat on my heart as I could only try to feel the sacrifice that not only they, but their families gave so I had the freedom to live my life in the way that I wanted to. Whether they had a good and successful life outside of service or struggled upon coming back to the life that so many of us take for granted, each of them in their time was a hero.

My daughter and I met up again and gazed at the rows of seemingly unending flags surrounding us. We spoke in quiet respect about the gratitude an bravery of the men and women that we briefly came to know through the stories on their headstones.  Somber words of what the service personnel and their families endured as they were separated for long periods of time, and for some through the loss of their loved one were choked back. We were both moved - me in internal emotion, her in creative emotion through her photographs.  We both left the cemetery that day with our hearts full of thanks to every man and woman that has served in person or has served in supporting their loved one in service to others.  We were both changed.

To every woman and man that has, is or will ever serve this great country, THANK YOU! And to every family that is home waiting for their loved one who is serving, THANK YOU! Each one of us that calls the U.S. home is indebted to you for giving of yourself and your loved ones, so that we have the choices and freedoms that allow us the opportunity to live a good and free life.

Momma's Never Forget.... A Crafty Repurpose Dry Erase Project

Reclaimed Cupboard Door Dry Erase Boards

In a busy world, you sometimes need reminders to help keep you focused and on track.  Even the savviest of momma's need a reminder to not forget everything that is on their plate! Technology is a great tool for some. But for many, the tactile and visual experience of a written note is a better option to help them keep organized. Here’s an easy and inexpensive way to create a beautiful dry-erase board for those notes, using repurposed items.

You Will Need:

• Reclaimed Cupboard Door* 
• Acrylic Paint
• Clear Contact Paper/Shelf Liner 
• Masking Tape 
• Sand paper 
• Gentle Soap and a wash cloth 
• Dry erase pens and eraser ** 

Directions:  (Check out the video link below for a demonstration)

1. Begin prepping the reclaimed cupboard door by wiping it down with a gentle soap and water solution and a wash cloth to remove any household residue. Once it is thoroughly dry, gently sand the center panel of the door with a fine sand paper. Wipe of any residue from the sanding.

2. Use masking tape (or any painter’s tape) to tape-off the area that will be painted.

3. Paint the taped off area with two coats, letting the first coat dry completely before painting the second. Let second coat dry completely before moving to the next step.

4. Measure the painted area and cut a piece of clear contact paper/shelf liner to the same dimension.

5. Pull back one edge of the contact paper far enough to match it up with the edge of painted surface. Apply the exposed (sticky) side to the edge of the painted surface. Slowly peel away paper backing while smoothing the surface side against the painted surface. When it is completely applied use your hands to smooth out any air bubbles. Note: If using dark colored paint, the surface will have a chalk board look to it.

Use the existing drill holes from the hardware as a guide for affixing wall hanging hooks to your finished board. Hang it up and write away! 

Check out this link for an on air segment demonstrating this fun craft!

http://www.abc15.com/dpp/lifestyle/sonoran_living/angie-mozilo-shares-how-to-make-dry-erase-board

*If a cupboard door is not available, any board with a flat surface can be used.

**If using dark paint, use bright or neon pens. If using a lighter paint, note that you may need to change out the contact paper on occasion to keep the board looking fresh. Terrycloth square can be used in place of an eraser if needed.

Parenting My Reflection

 As much as I miss my kids being little, I will be honest, I am enjoying being on this side of parenthood.  It's not because I don't cherish and long for recapturing so many of the moments and memories that the younger years brought.  It's not that I was anxious to have my kids grown and independent.  It's not that I looked at parenting as a chore or a burden. It is  because of what parenting taught me about my children, and about me.

Of all of the parenting moments, the challenges taught me the most.

No one ever said parenting was easy. . Whether you are a first time parent or a parent of many children, there are things that challenge us as parents. The tantrums, the attitudes, the seemingly illogical objections to our "suggestions", the quirks and quandary inducing situations often leave us frustrated, confused, angry. The challenges also often leave us feeling like we are failing at parenting.

You should note that I didn't say our children challenge us as parents. There is a very good and important reason for that. It was something I realized when one my children was about 8 years old - and I was tired, confused, frustrated, and feeling like I was failing as a parent. I couldn't figure out what made her tick, what caused the friction, and why she wouldn't "be" the way I thought she should be. As I was standing in the middle of the kitchen trying to (ahem) manage one of her attitudes, it was as if God placed a full length mirror directly in front of me.  I had the immediate and very clear realization that I was parenting my reflection.  That was not easy.

As I stood there, I was humbled at seeing what I perceived as challenges about her transform into the realization that they were challenges in me. To clarify, it was not in actions or reaction - those manifestations in us were very different. The challenges were in what caused and the feelings in the actions and reactions.  The challenge was more pointedly in what cause ME to act or react to things. It was about the things that make me, me; and her... her.

When she would have a rough time with arguing and attitude as we were heading out the door for a last minute plan, I was parenting my own resistance to change.  As she would be frustrated to the point of tearing up a homework assignment that she didn't think was going well, I was parenting my own need for perfection.  When she would fall apart if her sisters interfered in her space, I was parenting my own need for some control over my personal bubble.  As she got worked up, wound up, and wired up when we were out and about, I was parenting my own need for some down time to recharge.  The challenges I saw in her were really the personality traits that I had, that she shared with me.  Eye opening.

This realization was key in helping me to parent her.  It allowed me to remove myself as part of the problem, and become part of the solution.  When I would react to her reaction, the way I was reacting, it became personality traits squared. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.  But when I identified in me what was causing me to react, I could identify (for the most part) what she was reacting to.  Knowing how I successfully manage my own personality traits gave me more tools to help her manage her. It allowed me to see from her perspective and become a proactive part of the solution, instead of part of the problem. 

Was it easy or did it take any less effort? ABSOLUTELY NOT! But, at the end of the effort and work, there was more peace, often resolution, and better understanding of her, and of me. It allowed me to foster and help guide those challenging things - that in reality were personality strengths, both in her AND in myself.  This may be a whole different post at some point, but control can be guided to responsibility, leadership, accountability; perfection can be guided to effort, persistence, passion; need for down time can be guided to self reflection, comfort in independence, and appreciation and understanding of boundaries - each challenge to us, is rooted in a positive personality trait.

The next time you are facing a parenting challenge, step back for a moment and imagine a mirror in front of you.  Look at your reflection and recognize if that challenge is a bigger challenge because of who you are and how you react.  When your children are young, they are not the challenge and never the enemy.  You are the grown up and you are solely responsible for how you act and react.  Parent reflectively and at the very least, you will have more parenting tools, and a better understanding of your child and of yourself and.

Independence Day and the Ghost of Betsy Ross!

From the archives, but a fun tradition!

Have you seen her?

She visits our family every year.....

If you are a lover of American History, you probably know that Besty Ross was born on New Years Day in 1752 in Philadelphia, PA. She is most well known for creating the banner that Americans pay respect and honor to (hopefully), our great Stars and Stripes, the great American Flag. If you are not a history buff, well, hopefully you can add this little piece of American history to your knowledge bank.

For me and my family, Betsy Ross has played an integral part of our celebration of Independence Day, the 4th of July. This particular holiday is the one time of year that my sisters and I, our families, and our parents are all together...all 15 of us. We spend it crammed into my parent's 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom mountain cabin. It is a cozy 7 days, but full of lots of celebration.

The Ghost of Betsy Ross as been a huge part of our festivities for the last 15 years when she first left a patriotic themed gift for each of the children after they each helped place an American flag in the yard of the cabin.(One of the kids speculated it was her ghost....so she has returned every year since.) Each year the kids have looked forward to decorating the yard as patriotically as they can, and seeing if Betsy Ross will return again. Sure enough, from the morning after the flags go up to the morning of the 4th, she has left them mementos that help them display their love of country and respect of the flag.

I understand that this is not the most traditional way to celebrate, and may even draw some criticism from some for associating gifts with patriotism. But the way I see it is this:

America is a great country. It is far from perfect and like every other country on this planet can always improve. But, it also is a country that through the voice and hard work of the people and the guidance of great leaders, continually strives and is dedicated to overcoming injustice and ensuring equality of all people. In essence as Americans, we are given the gifts of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as a benefit of our patriotism - I say gifts because of the many women and men that gave their lives to ensure us these things. And what may be even more amazing, is that for those that live in this great country that are against what America is built upon...they are granted grace, and receive the same gifts.

I think that The Ghost of Betsy Ross has taught the children of the family a great appreciation for this Great Country. Untraditional as it may be, this way of celebrating has shown them the gift that they have by simply being able to call America home. Even as my children are venturing out into the world on their own - two are now adults, this tradition is close to their hearts and has deepened their appreciation for what it means to have the freedoms they have.

What Independence Day traditions do you have? 

Be Still and Listen

If you have been a long time follower of AZ Mom of Many Hats Blog, you have probably noticed a bit of calm and quiet on the site. Much of life has been happening in the "Mom of Many Hats" household. There have been challenges, changes, and choices to be made.  Many of these things required a lot of reflection, introspection, emotional energy, and being still and listening.

Hence... A mom of few words....

But, this brings up a very important issue for moms (and dads) of many hats - the fact that we often refuse to let ourselves quiet and slow down and take the time to listen to life. It is so easy to be busy, to rush on to the next event or deadline, to pour energy into things that have no measurable value in our lives. We live in a world of distractions and busyness that allows us to be constantly in high gear. We choose to not downshift.  Let's be honest...often, we don't slow down so we don't have to listen to what life is shouting at us.

But why don't we want to be still and listen to what life is telling us?

It's Painful. When we stop and be still, there isn't as much action and white noise interfering with our thoughts and emotions.  We are faced with and forced to take a look at what is happening in our lives. Painful issues that we have been able to zip by may now become a place that we need to visit. When standing still, grief, fear, and frustration catch up to us.  We've slowed down the train, and they jump on.

It's humbling. At a standstill, the scenery and sounds are much clearer than when we are zooming by it at 100 mph.  Being still causes us to feel our size in the vastness of the universe, but at the same time, the enormity of the impact that we each can have in it.  We have the chance to step out of our own perceptions of what the world is to us (entitlement), and decide who we need to be to the world (obligation). It's a tough and humbling experience to realize just how inwardly you are living when you are not standing still and listening.

It's deafening. That old oxymoron - deafening silence, holds true here.  It is sort of like the few days in our recent history that no planes were flying in the air.  The absence of the white noise in the sky made the organic sounds of the world around us scream.  Standing still brings up organic sounds of life; the questions of calling and purpose, reassessing who we are, having to face issues of living and mortality, looking at our faith, questioning and preparing for the future.  When we are still and listening, these sounds can feel overwhelming.

Even though it can very difficult, there are reasons why we should stand still and listen.

It's eye opening. When we step back, be still, and listen, there is an opportunity to take stock of how we are living.  A moment of quiet shows where ways can be changed. Actions, heart, motivation, emotions, areas that need to be fixed or tweaked become clear to our site when there is a break in the busyness of existing.  Convictions and character can be solidified as a rock to stand on - and we can see the areas we would not change as well.

It's restorative. Because life is a work out, there needs to be rest. The work stretches, tears, and challenges our existence muscles.  Our physical bodies need rest when they have been challenged and worked.  It is the time where repair, restoration, and rejuvenation happens.  So it is with our minds, spirits, and wills as we walk through life.  Being still allows us to catch our breath, steady our steps, refuel, and move forward. It allows us to find perspective, hope, and reason that can get loss amongst the chaos that is often a part of day to day existence.

It's our obligations as good life stewards. Our life is something that we are called to steward - to manage with unselfish ownership and accountability. Part of that stewardship is stop, rest and listen.  If we are in perpetual motion and constant action, we are actually living an inwardly centered life.  Slowing down and reflecting allows us to "shut our mouths and open our ears" to truly see how we are impacting, and how the world is impacting us.  The key to life stewardship is recognizing the responsibility to take proactive assessments of how we are living and being in the world,  acting when acting is due, but also listening, resting, and being still when it is due. 

I confess, that there are times in my life that I keep busy so I don't have to hear what life and God are speaking into my heart.  It can hurt to be corrected, called out, and humbled by what you hear. It can be hard to hear and feel  emotions. It can also be scary to see the opportunities ahead that you can step into. But regardless of how much our minds and wills fight it, regardless of how much we don't want to be still and listen, it is a necessary and crucial step for us as people, as women, and as mothers.

Do you have a  hard time being still and listening? 
Do you do it willingly or does life have to force it upon you?

The ToolBox - Fill the Box Now, Be Their Friend Later

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.” 

― Anne Frank

I would love it if I could give my kids everything they wanted...

But I can't. 

Even if I could, I wouldn't. My conscience, my judgement, my heart, and my parental responsibility would not let me. 

I would love to be my children's best friend...

But I can't.

Even if I could, I wouldn't. That is not my role. At least it's not my role while they are minor children, under my care, still maturing and growing to adulthood.  I guess I could have taken the role of friend instead of parent, but my conscience, my judgment, my heart, and my parental responsibility would not let me. 

I would have loved to make every path clear, every job easy, every relationship without trouble, every class fun, every game winnable, every action rewardable.... 

But I can't.

Even if I could, I wouldn't.  That may have been in some way possible, but not at all realistic or representative of what life is.  I could shelter them, fight every battle, and make their existence nothing but easy and fun, but my conscience, my judgment, my heart, and my parental responsibility would not let me. 

In the short term, eliminating any wants or obstacles in your children's lives may seem like an expression of love and caring.  It may seem to you that it is a way of taking care of and protecting them.  To make a path easy for them gets them further along the road.  Giving them what they want fulfills their desires for things.  Being a friend instead of holding then accountable and towing the line might feel like it's creating connection.  

The truth: That is the easy road for you. It also creates a tougher road for them when they are out in the world. 

Your job, my job, our job is to be parents and to ready them for the world.  A parent's job is to fill their child's toolbox with the tools they will need to be in it successfully. 

As a grown-up you know that the world is nothing like living at mom and dad's house with them taking care of the necessities of life.  It can be a great place, but it is not always an easy place.  It takes hard work, tenacity, willingness to stretch yourself, understanding and ability to cope with failures along with the successes, and knowing that things don't always go the way you want them to.  You have to problem solve, get along with people you don't always like, sometimes work in situations that are less than what you would like them to be, and earn your successes.  

As parent, it is your job to balance your care and protection with preparing your children for the world- a world that is not going to coddle them.  To do that, they need a toolbox stocked with the tools that will help them build a life in a world that looks very different from mom and dad's house. 

The world will hold them accountable and responsible for their actions. Give them this tool by holding them accountable and responsible for their actions and words. 

The world will not reward them for simply stepping into it.  They will fail at things in life as adults.  Prepare them with the tools for it by letting them fail at things sometimes. It is hard not to save them from it when you can, but the short term benefit of a better feeling in the moment becomes a long term obstacle when they don't know how to accept, learn from, and recover from it in the world. 

The world will not give the everything they want. Just like the rest of us, there will be some things that they get, some things they will have to work for, and some things that just never may come. Give them the tool of having joy with what's in front of them, and the ability to find happiness even when they don't have their every wish fulfilled. Don't grant every "want".  Give them everything they need, and some of what they want - but not everything. Give them the tool of knowing the difference between a need and a want by understanding the difference yourself. 

They will need to learn empathy, sympathy, the ability to feel joy and sadness, how to live a healthy lifestyle, and understanding of money and responsible use of it, self respect, respect for others, determination, tenacity, will, drive, how to rest, how to love... the list of tools goes on and on.  It is parent responsibility to send them into the world with a full tool box. 

It's not an easy job, but you are the best and most influential person for the job. When you are weary and feeling like the "bad guy", just recite this to yourself: Today I know that Parenting is a tiring job but a worthy one. Our duty is to give them the tools they need to be in the world. It is their job to open the tool box and use them.

Be their parent now.  Your reward of being their friend will come. 

For Amy

This is not a typical post for AZ Mom of Many Hats.

But, Amy is not a typical person.  She is my sister. She is amazing.

I have posted about Amy several times before over the last five years.  The first post My Sister's Cancer being about finding out in February 2008 that she was diagnosed in Stage IV Inflammatory Breast Cancer - an invasive and very aggressive form of breast cancer that does not generally have a defined lump.  There were successive posts on her journey and battle - many of them that brought hope and some that brought angst. All of them were in honor or celebration of her - and for a kick in the ass to the bastard of cancer.

This post is no different.

Amy is larger than life.  From her colorful hair to her love of fancy rats, there is nothing about her that is not vibrant, interesting, and totally genuine.  Each person that knows her would describe her essence as strong, witty, straight forward, authentic, dedicated, compassionate, and even snarky.  As a woman with a teacher's heart, a deep and devoted faith, a compassionate heart for all of God's people and creatures, and a strong sense of right, her actions towards the world have influenced, touched, and nurtured her family, our larger family, friends, students, colleagues and even some she has never met.

She is a force to be reckoned with in this world - in a good way.  I say it again... She is amazing.

On November 12, 2012 the world forever changed.  After many valiantly fought battles, at the age of 45, Amy passed away of Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC). She fought through chemo and radiation and all of the possible side effects that come with both. She showed strength and grace as she pushed her tired body through the day to day as best as she could - volunteering, mentoring, running her rattery,  being mom, wife, daughter and sister, singing on the worship team at her church. She fought hard, she fought long, and she fought admirably.

My heart, our family's hearts are so heavy and our existence will never be the same.  We no longer have the physical presence of Amy as mom, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, friend.  We will forever miss her presence here and always long for more time with her. But, the force of Amy, her essence can't be defeated. In that we find some peace.

Through her fight, many were educated about Inflammatory Breast Cancer.  Her teacher's heart wasn't stilled by the battle.  

Through her fight, she showed strength and grace. Her spirit wasn't crushed by the battle. 

Through her fight, she showed tremendous love for others.  Her compassion wasn't soured by the battle.

Through her fight, she showed what it was let go of things out of her control.  Her will wasn't destroyed by the battle. 

Through her fight, she left the lessons, the words, the actions, and the seeds that her family needs to move forward and be strong and good men in the world.  Her loving, nurturing and mothering were strengthened ten-fold by the battle.

Through her fight, her identity never became Amy, the Inflammatory Breast Cancer patient.  She was always Amy, who happened to have this battle present in her life. 

Through her fight she remained rooted in her faith, even when she didn't understand why this battle was hers.  The battle didn't destroy her trust and faith in God and her Salvation.   

She could not win every battle. But she NEVER lost the war.  Today she is singing and enjoying the splendor of HIS courts.  She is in perfect peace and whole.  That is something that cancer could never take from her.

Don't Let the Silence Continue

Women, men, physicians - please learn about Inflammatory Breast Cancer - IBC.  There is so much progress in many areas of breast cancer research and treatment.  We hear about that all of the time in the "pink" campaigns. What we don't hear is the dark side of breast cancer - the types of breast cancer like IBC, and that MOST women diagnosed with a cancer like IBC will die. Whether it is unpopular, unwillingness, or unawareness, this conversation in the breast cancer dialog is rarely had.  The silence is killing women, and men.

We knew about breast cancer.  We didn't know about Inflammatory Breast Cancer.

Learn more about Inflammatory Breast Cancer at:

The IBC Network
http://www.TheIBCNetwork.org

MD Anderson Cancer Center
http://www.mdanderson.org/education-and-research/departments-programs-and-labs/programs-centers-institutes/inflammatory-breast-cancer-research-program/index.html

Thanksgiving Blessings

After the Turkey, stuffing and pie,

I sit and reflect upon the year that's gone by.

I count all my gains, gifts and blessings,

and chose to forget my misfortunes and messings.

I think of my family, husband, children and me,

and know that we've been given more gifts than we need.

A beautiful home, cars, and things all around,

we all are so grateful for these blessings abound.

But, these blessings of things don't satisfy my heart,

and through these lines, I wish to impart,

The things that are truly a blessing to my soul,

are these intangible things that make me feel whole.

Like my children laughing and loving each other,

and having them know they can count on their mother.

For a husband who loves me in spite of my faults,

and learned, just for me, a wedding day waltz.

For a God who greater, could there never be one,

who loves me so much that He sent me his Son

And a country where I am allowed to be me,

the home of the brave and the land of the free.

These things I don't own and could never have bought,

but through their gain, great blessing I got.

After the turkey, stuffing and pie,

Will you sit and reflect on the year that's gone by?

Things are not always easy.  It has been a tough year for many that are reading this.  But, even among the hard times and darkness, there is room in  our hearts for gratitude.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? 

New Week Notions - Mountains

In every phase of parenting, relationships, jobs, and life, we face mountains.  They are an inevitable part of our travel on our own personal roads.  However, as moms and dads, the mountains seem to have such a huge significance - there is so much more at stake.  Parenting challenges, household finances, job stability, are constant inclines that seem never ending. We are not just climbing the mountains to meet our own goals or to strengthen our own selves.  The climb has a different consequence.  It affects the outcome and path of our children's lives. Than responsibility often looks so huge that we can see nothing else.  We feel as if we are climbing mount Everest.

Just for today, take a step back. Catch your breath.  Survey the hill ahead.  With a fresh view, you may see that what you thought was an insurmountable peak, is really just a foothill. You'll find the inspiration and the strength to put one foot in front of the other, until you've reached the peak.

New Week Notions - The Sun Rises

Mondays are often a tough day.  They can signal another week of the same routine, the same challenges, and the same frustrations.  But take heart - even if the coming days feel like a shadow over you, remember that every day without failing, the sun rises and shines for you. Each day is the chance to see what it is illuminating for you! 

Sands Of Time - Fall A Little Faster Please!

Life is lived forward, cherished backward, and savored here.

If we are truly honest with ourselves, we can probably all say that there have been moments in our parenting, in our marriages and in our lives in general that we have truly wished would pass quicker than they seem to be moving. In those times we wish we could tap the top of the hourglass, hoping to help the sands of time fall a bit quicker. The moments and hours drag on...

• Little ones having tantrums.
• Spouses bickering and snapping at each other as life brings them challenges to overcome. 
• Elementary school kids and homework battles.
• Jobs, home responsibilities, family stressors, finances. 
• Teens and boyfriends/girlfriends, driving, high school drama, driving, graduating and college stress. 
• Trying to keep our fort... errr... thir... ok... trying to be as healthy and look like we did in our pre-children, pre-life days. 

In those moments that seem to be countless and unending, that seem to defy  how we understand time to move, the moments that we are tired and weary - we wish we could speed the hands of time to the hour that we finally feel content.

Here's the problem...

Happiness is a speedy and lofty prey. We will never catch it if we are chasing it.

Life goes on in a forward moving direction and at a fixed pace. It's the laws of time and space that we have no control over. That forward motion includes stepping through and experiencing each moment, even the tough ones. Wishing for the quick passing of those tougher times, looking and hoping for contentment to come in the next moments, robs ourselves of happiness and wastes our efforts. If we choose not to look for contentment and happiness in the moments we are currently living, we have let a precious gift slip through our hands. A gift that will out run us. We will be left looking behind us, wishing we had savored the moments of joy, the moments of light, and the contentment that were present all along.

In your tough moments today, look around you and find something you can savor. Take off your racing blinders that keep you focused on what happiness the future may hold. You will see that in the here and now, in the midst of challenge, happiness lives if we let it.

Growing the Good

Is there a reason why bad things in life happen? When the garden of our lives are full of abundance, why do they sometimes get plundered?

We search for meaning in the tough parts of life.  We have a desire to know why a tragedy happened, why we lost a job, a home or a loved one. Our efforts are spend figuring out why as an individual, a community, or a nation has suffered a loss. 

In those moments of trouble, if we know we have not been doing all we could to prevent the trouble in the first place, hopefully we can see where we could have changed course and we can take steps to correct our paths in the future.  But when we are moving along, doing what we should, when we should, and why we should - that is a different story. 

Life is suddenly changes.  The smooth soil of our existence is suddenly overturned, with it taking the things that we have worked so hard to grow in the gardens of our life.  Our happiness is shaken and battered.  Our home life can be uprooted.  Our sense of security and ability to see forward to brighter days can be buried underneath, hidden by the darkness of all that has fallen upon it.  We try and try to till the soil, to bring it back to it's normal state.  We look for remedy and reason, but the garden just does not go back to what it was before the trials hit. 

The garden of life gets overturned  and plundered for so many.  We may know the person or the tool used. We may even know the reason why the person or tool was used. But we struggle to find a reason why it was OUR lives that were a part of the reaping. 

However, what often gets planted after the bad things in life offers hope. Compassion and understanding from ourselves to others and from others to us, become the seeds of new life. With the water of patience and the sunlight of care, seedlings emerge and a new and different abundance fills our soil.  The garden can flourish and thrive again. And in time, the garden returns.

The reason why it was our garden my never be answered. But, goodness and kindness that others and ourselves are willing and compelled to give to those who are suffering offers hope, faith and a sense of security.  It plants the seeds that allow life to continue on, differently than before, but with the ability to once again be abundant. From the destruction and darkness the garden springs back to life, and it is Growing the Good.

Just A Few More Steps!

Do you ever feel like just giving up?

Some days seem so long and so tedious.  Our day to day duties and responsibilities stretch the hours, the minutes, the moments into a seemingly uphill eternity.  We get lost in the tiredness, the mundane, the never ending list of things to do. Our energy is sapped, our will is tested, and our desire to just push through is all but gone. Throw in crisis, trouble, or just a mere kink in our plans, and we feel that we will never see the top of the hill and get to see the beauty of the accomplishment that lies at the summit.

This is exactly the time that we need to dig deep, find our will and pull from that little hidden bit of energy that every woman - every mom has hidden insider her.  We need to draw on that one last fuse that we know is just waiting to be lit, that will propel us forward and upward.  With that little bit of spark, we can make it to the top of the hill.  If we keep our mind set on not how much further we have to go, but how far we have already come, our perspective shifts.  We find the bit of gusto we need to continue on just a bit more.

Hang in there, you're almost there. It's just a few more steps to the top!

Sometimes You've Got To Stick Your Neck Out!

No one ever said that life would be easy.  No one ever said that things would just be handed to us.  No one ever said that we wouldn't be stretched by the goings on in life.  

Truth be told, life stretches us more than we can ever imagine.  We are busy, responsibility laden, and accountable to our families, our businesses or jobs, and our communities.  We're also accountable to ourselves.  

In all these areas, we are tugged, pulled, and stretched.  Often, we need to put in our own efforts to meet our accountability.  Often, we need to stick our necks out and stretch ourselves to reach goals!

How Do You Stretch Yourself? 

Does Organization Drive You Up A Wall? Put it ON the Wall!

I LOVE to get my crafty on, but my organization skills when it comes to my supplies is a bit.... well.... lacking. The prospect of getting all of my stuff organized is so overwhelming. Scissors, tape, glue guns, pens, sewing needles, paint, glitter, scrap paper, you name in, it is in my supplies.  Every time I feel the creative part of me nipping my heels, I dig through boxes and boxes to find what I need.  It takes up so much horizontal space and working surface area. I know I need to get a handle on it, but it drives me up a wall!

Regardless, it has to be done.

In Mom of Many Hats fashion, I tackled the job of organizing head on, finding a solution to my organization issues and strife, as well as the frustration of the crafting supplies taking up my surface space.  I decided to not let it drive me up the wall... I decided to put it ON THE WALL!

Using a prefab shelf piece (only cost about $3.50)  some coffee/coffee drink cans I had been saving for just the right project, a couple of mug hooks and some magnetic strip, hot glue and screws, I put my creative hat on and got to work!

First, I took the coffee/coffee drink cans and placed them on the shelf board in a pattern that is both appealing and functional.  I placed the plastic lid on the bottom of the cans for an extra bit of stability and a bit of non slip security.  When I had them in the pattern I liked, I took a dab of hot glue to temporarily affix them to the shelf board.

Next, I used a small 1/2" screw to permanently attach the cans to the board.  It took a bit of elbow grease with a manual screwdriver, but it was made much easier by using the end of the screw driver to punch a small lead hole in the bottom of the cans.

Once all of the cans were affixed, I added a few cup hooks and magnets for hanging supplies that wouldn't fit in the cans, or that were metal and could easily bond to the magnets.  I added a sturdy hanger on the back to hang it on the wall. I filled them with my commonly used crafting supplies.

When all of the hooks, magnets, and cans were affixed, I had a ready to use craft supply center that not only keeps my supplies out of the way on my work surfaces, it keeps them at my fingertips, on the wall.  It was an inexpensive way to solve my organizing angst and a way to recycle, reduce, and reuse the coffee cans that could clutter a landfill or continue cluttering the shelf in my pantry.

A bit of innovation, determination, and recyclization (ok I made that last one up), and you too, can have a handy caddy to hang on your wall for your crafting, or other supplies!

If you found this project useful or if you have tried it out, please post a comment below.  Feel free to Pin, Tweet, FB, Link, Digg... or any other form of sharing.  I love to hear your feedback!

Always Remember - A Memorial Day Walk Through the Cemetery

A Memorial Day Walk
Photo By  Rebekah Mozilo

Not long ago, I took my daughter to the Veterans Cemetery in our town.  She is an avid and very talented photographer and was drawn to the emotion, the landscape, and the composition of the cemetery.  As a tribute to those that served in the military and our country, she wanted to capture a respectful and beautiful image of what is often remembered as a dark and sad place.

The Cemetery is along a major road that we travel often so we catch a glimpse of it regularly.  But when on days when there is a national celebration of Veterans and Service Persons, or on days when another is committed back to the earth after a life of service or a sacrifice in service, it is even more noticeable. On those days, the land is peppered with the colors that represent the freedoms we have in the United States. The usually brown and grey desert landscape is brightened by the Red White and Blue.

Service support groups lovingly and patiently place a flag at each headstone at the cemetery. I thought of that loving service that they provided as we walked through the rows of headstones on the day I took my daughter to capture the images.  What a wonderful tribute and show of appreciation on the part of the organizations so dedicated to making sure our service members have the colors they served adorn their resting places.

But, as we we walked through the headstones and eventually parted directions, my focus shifted as I began reading the epitaphs.

I saw the awards, medals, and commendations by those that lay beneath.  The dates etched in the stones so clearly defined the moments in history that they walked the earth, served their country, and fought for our freedoms.  The realizations that some had long life and others only a brief walk on this earthly home sat on my heart as I could only try to feel the sacrifice that not only they, but their families gave so I had the freedom to live my life in the way that I wanted to. Whether they had a good and successful life outside of service or struggled upon coming back to the life that so many of us take for granted, each of them in their time was a hero.

My daughter and I met up again and gazed at the rows of seemingly unending flags surrounding us. We spoke in quiet respect about the gratitude an bravery of the men and women that we briefly came to know through the stories on their headstones.  Somber words of what the service personnel and their families endured as they were separated for long periods of time, and for some through the loss of their loved one were choked back. We were both moved - me in internal emotion, her in creative emotion through her photographs.  We both left the cemetery that day with our hearts full of thanks to every man and woman that has served in person or has served in supporting their loved one in service to others.  We were both changed.

To every woman and man that has, is or will ever serve this great country, THANK YOU! And to every family that is home waiting for their loved one who is serving, THANK YOU! Each one of us that calls the U.S. home is indebted to you for giving of yourself and your loved ones, so that we have the choices and freedoms that allow us the opportunity to live a good and free life.

Soar High And Travel Far! Releasing Them Into The World!

Photo Courtesy of technicolor76 on Flickr

I have a distinct childhood memory of tying a note to a helium balloon and letting the balloon fly off into the sky.

Although I could not predict where the balloon would ultimately land, I daydreamed, speculated, and created a story in my mind of just who would find the balloon.  In my mind's eye, they would take the message that I wrote, be moved by it,  do something amazing with it, or at the very least, ask a question about who the sender was.  It was a way to live on and float out into the world.

I have a daughter graduating from high school this evening.  As I thought about and reflected on her time in school and how quickly it went, I was somehow transported back to releasing that balloon. My baby, my sweet daughter is very much like that balloon.

This event in her life and in my life is very much like that launch. From her first day of kindergarten to this day, it has been a journey- at times so long and at times so short.  Each day of that journey - from what she learned in her academic adventures, her social adventures, and in what we  instilled in her, filled her and prepared her to go off into the world - it was what prepared her to rise and fly.

As her dad and I send her off into the world, we are releasing her to fly.  We have attached messages of love, value, and importance to her. She carries messages from us into the world.  More importantly, those messages, if we have done our jobs well, will be ingrained in her, in what she is to the world, and who she is in the world. If we have done our job well, she will always know that she is unconditionally loved, and will carry that love and legacy to the world.  We can only dream of where she will land; the winds of life often carry us in unexpected directions.  Our story of what and who she is in the world will always have a vein of truth, yet, she will form the words and the language her own story.

So on this night of her release into the world and into her future, we wish for her to fly, catching the wind currents, embracing the sun that will shine on her, weathering and being stronger for the storms she will face, and landing in a place that fulfills her own heart.

To our sweet daughter, you are a gift to the world.  Although it is hard to let go of the string and let you go, we will relish in the beauty of your flight. We are proud to call you our legacy.  Soar high sweet baby!

You Don't Have To Be An Artist - You Can Just Be Practical!

If you stop by this blog often, you may have seen several of the crafting videos that I have posted here.

I am often told how creative or artistic I am.  But the reality is, I really don't think I am all that creative or artistic - at least not in the traditional sense.  I craft and create because of a need of something, or because I just don't want to spend the money to buy something.

I am PRACTICALLY CRAFTY!

In the video below, a segment on a recent Local TV Morning Show, I had the honor of sharing two project ideas that can be used to "cross craft" to make many other projects.  It combines the techniques used in the Blinged Out Flip Flops video and the I Tip My Cap To National Crafting Month Posts.  The result of using a bit of fabric, a few rhinestones, and the right kind of glue results in the ability to make countless gifts, decor items, or fun and cute accessories for yourself - like the projects  you see in the photo above.

Enjoy, and have a blast being PRACTICALLY CRAFTY!



Video Courtesy Sonoran Living Live, ABC 15.

Losing My Marbles

I never really played the game of Marbles. 


But I do remember being fascinated by the gorgeous glass globes and how they changed as they moved, catching the light and spinning around in their glorious colors.  I also remember how they scattered when they hit the surface, like a million little beautiful baubles heading off into the world to bring a bit of joy to every corner they should reach.

In as much pleasure I found in their beauty, I'd find an even bigger measure of frustration in their escape from my control.  Instead of allowing the beauty to be let from my grasp, I'd hold tight to them in my selfishness and thought of losing what was mine, or even more so, feeling the pain of letting what was mine go.  I'd try to contain them, but the more frantically I tried to catch them, the more determined they were to not be confined.

One day I realized something about these marbles.

In as much adoration, energy, thought, wonder, consideration, and fascination I put into the marbles, I was actually afraid of them.  

I was not afraid of the object of the marble itself, but of what it represented to me; of what the value of it actually was; of if it would have meaning to anyone else in the world or would it be a disposed of piece of glass. I was afraid of what the reaction to letting these marbles out into the world would be.  Would the world see me as foolish for having a fascination and dream in something that could be hidden many times over in the palm of a hand? Would the world dispose of me for putting so much passion into the marbles?

In an attempt to protect myself from the fear, as soon as I would let them scatter to see their beauty, I'd frantically try to hide them from the world. Try as I may to keep my collection from being seen by the world, there were always a few that I could not capture. They were out in the world. They were found by someone else, and became their objects of affection. 

These marbles are a lot like the pieces of us.  We believe we have beauty and value to add to the world. We have big ideas and dreams. We are full of ideas and potential. We let it out and watch the beauty spread, but then quickly doubt and reign it back in and hide it away for fear of rejection, fear of judgment, or fear of failure.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as we've been told. It's not what the world thinks of your marbles that matters. What you think -that is what should matter. So why not let them scatter and take their course? Why not let the marbles roll, reflect light, and adorn the world. After all, those marbles we can't catch- pieces of us that we can't pull back in, often become the success and possessions  of others. Things that could have been ours all along, had we just not been afraid. 

What piece of you, idea, or dream are you afraid to let go into the world?  What  piece of your beauty do let go and then pull back? 

V, V-I, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y... We All Need A Cheerleader Sometimes!

Do you ever wish you had a cheering section behind you when you are attempting something new, trudging on through a tough project or proposal, or are stretching your creativity and considering new ideas? Does encountering a "Devil's Advocate" at every corner wear you out? 

We All Need A Cheerleader

It is our human nature to need acknowledgement and affirmation. It is part of our hierarchy of needs... (thanks Maslow for bringing this to our attention....). According to Maslow, our need to be accepted, gain approval and recognition is smack dab in the middle of our seven levels of needs - needs that range from the basic physiological (food, thirst, sex) to the complex need of self actualization (knowing purpose and potential). Without each level, as persons, we can't move up the hierarchy.

Part of our feeling of approval, acknowledgement, affirmation, and recognition is knowing that someone supports us and believes in what we are doing. In essence, we need a cheerleader. Having someone support our ideas, lift us up, be happy for us and say, "yes! I believe in you!" is a crucial piece to our success, our motivation, and our desire to move on - especially when times get tough.

What Does A Cheerleader Look Like?

No... this type of cheerleader doesn't look like the ones that you are probably associating "cheerleader" with. This person doesn't run around with pom-poms providing half time entertainment at sporting events. The don't scream at the crowds around you and get them riled up and behind your cause or your idea. They don't build pyramids, shout, or do high kicks.

This person is the person that can say "I believe in you and your passion" even if they don't necessarily buy into your idea. They are the person that does not at every turn, play devils advocate and challenge you - at least not at the onset of your ideas. They are the person that when you feel tired and like giving up, they remind you of your passion, how far you have come, and of what you have in you to reach your potential. They are the person, that in your failure, supports you and still believes in you, not the one that says "I told you so."

Do You Have A Cheerleader? Are You A Cheerleader?

Hopefully you have someone in your life that cheers you on and supports you. Are cheerleaders necessary for EVERYTHING we do in life? Certainly not. We don't need a pat on the back because we went to the grocery store or because we got up to go to work this morning. But life is often a tough road. We are community creatures that need the support of community members to stand on that sideline and encourage us to make the play, reach the finish line, or achieve a goal.

Think about how you support others. Think about your own interactions and dealings with others when they are venturing into a new territory, presenting an idea to you, or sharing their passions with you. Do you cheer on or immediately question? Do you believe in someone, even when they fail?

I Challenge You To Do The Two Following Things:

• Make a mental of physical list of those that have cheered you on in life. Make an attempt to thank those that you can. 
• Assess yourself and recognize whether you are a cheerleader or a questioner. If you gravitate toward being a questioner, work on how and what you communicate to others. Adopt phrases that are affirming such as "I can see how much passion you have!" or "I can see the potential in your idea." 

Please share your thoughts below in the comments.  Do you prefer to be/be around a cheerleader or do you prefer to be/be around a questioner?