Be Still and Listen

If you have been a long time follower of AZ Mom of Many Hats Blog, you have probably noticed a bit of calm and quiet on the site. Much of life has been happening in the "Mom of Many Hats" household. There have been challenges, changes, and choices to be made.  Many of these things required a lot of reflection, introspection, emotional energy, and being still and listening.

Hence... A mom of few words....

But, this brings up a very important issue for moms (and dads) of many hats - the fact that we often refuse to let ourselves quiet and slow down and take the time to listen to life. It is so easy to be busy, to rush on to the next event or deadline, to pour energy into things that have no measurable value in our lives. We live in a world of distractions and busyness that allows us to be constantly in high gear. We choose to not downshift.  Let's be honest...often, we don't slow down so we don't have to listen to what life is shouting at us.

But why don't we want to be still and listen to what life is telling us?

It's Painful. When we stop and be still, there isn't as much action and white noise interfering with our thoughts and emotions.  We are faced with and forced to take a look at what is happening in our lives. Painful issues that we have been able to zip by may now become a place that we need to visit. When standing still, grief, fear, and frustration catch up to us.  We've slowed down the train, and they jump on.

It's humbling. At a standstill, the scenery and sounds are much clearer than when we are zooming by it at 100 mph.  Being still causes us to feel our size in the vastness of the universe, but at the same time, the enormity of the impact that we each can have in it.  We have the chance to step out of our own perceptions of what the world is to us (entitlement), and decide who we need to be to the world (obligation). It's a tough and humbling experience to realize just how inwardly you are living when you are not standing still and listening.

It's deafening. That old oxymoron - deafening silence, holds true here.  It is sort of like the few days in our recent history that no planes were flying in the air.  The absence of the white noise in the sky made the organic sounds of the world around us scream.  Standing still brings up organic sounds of life; the questions of calling and purpose, reassessing who we are, having to face issues of living and mortality, looking at our faith, questioning and preparing for the future.  When we are still and listening, these sounds can feel overwhelming.

Even though it can very difficult, there are reasons why we should stand still and listen.

It's eye opening. When we step back, be still, and listen, there is an opportunity to take stock of how we are living.  A moment of quiet shows where ways can be changed. Actions, heart, motivation, emotions, areas that need to be fixed or tweaked become clear to our site when there is a break in the busyness of existing.  Convictions and character can be solidified as a rock to stand on - and we can see the areas we would not change as well.

It's restorative. Because life is a work out, there needs to be rest. The work stretches, tears, and challenges our existence muscles.  Our physical bodies need rest when they have been challenged and worked.  It is the time where repair, restoration, and rejuvenation happens.  So it is with our minds, spirits, and wills as we walk through life.  Being still allows us to catch our breath, steady our steps, refuel, and move forward. It allows us to find perspective, hope, and reason that can get loss amongst the chaos that is often a part of day to day existence.

It's our obligations as good life stewards. Our life is something that we are called to steward - to manage with unselfish ownership and accountability. Part of that stewardship is stop, rest and listen.  If we are in perpetual motion and constant action, we are actually living an inwardly centered life.  Slowing down and reflecting allows us to "shut our mouths and open our ears" to truly see how we are impacting, and how the world is impacting us.  The key to life stewardship is recognizing the responsibility to take proactive assessments of how we are living and being in the world,  acting when acting is due, but also listening, resting, and being still when it is due. 

I confess, that there are times in my life that I keep busy so I don't have to hear what life and God are speaking into my heart.  It can hurt to be corrected, called out, and humbled by what you hear. It can be hard to hear and feel  emotions. It can also be scary to see the opportunities ahead that you can step into. But regardless of how much our minds and wills fight it, regardless of how much we don't want to be still and listen, it is a necessary and crucial step for us as people, as women, and as mothers.

Do you have a  hard time being still and listening? 
Do you do it willingly or does life have to force it upon you?

Sometimes You've Got To Stick Your Neck Out!

No one ever said that life would be easy.  No one ever said that things would just be handed to us.  No one ever said that we wouldn't be stretched by the goings on in life.  

Truth be told, life stretches us more than we can ever imagine.  We are busy, responsibility laden, and accountable to our families, our businesses or jobs, and our communities.  We're also accountable to ourselves.  

In all these areas, we are tugged, pulled, and stretched.  Often, we need to put in our own efforts to meet our accountability.  Often, we need to stick our necks out and stretch ourselves to reach goals!

How Do You Stretch Yourself? 

Does Organization Drive You Up A Wall? Put it ON the Wall!

I LOVE to get my crafty on, but my organization skills when it comes to my supplies is a bit.... well.... lacking. The prospect of getting all of my stuff organized is so overwhelming. Scissors, tape, glue guns, pens, sewing needles, paint, glitter, scrap paper, you name in, it is in my supplies.  Every time I feel the creative part of me nipping my heels, I dig through boxes and boxes to find what I need.  It takes up so much horizontal space and working surface area. I know I need to get a handle on it, but it drives me up a wall!

Regardless, it has to be done.

In Mom of Many Hats fashion, I tackled the job of organizing head on, finding a solution to my organization issues and strife, as well as the frustration of the crafting supplies taking up my surface space.  I decided to not let it drive me up the wall... I decided to put it ON THE WALL!

Using a prefab shelf piece (only cost about $3.50)  some coffee/coffee drink cans I had been saving for just the right project, a couple of mug hooks and some magnetic strip, hot glue and screws, I put my creative hat on and got to work!

First, I took the coffee/coffee drink cans and placed them on the shelf board in a pattern that is both appealing and functional.  I placed the plastic lid on the bottom of the cans for an extra bit of stability and a bit of non slip security.  When I had them in the pattern I liked, I took a dab of hot glue to temporarily affix them to the shelf board.

Next, I used a small 1/2" screw to permanently attach the cans to the board.  It took a bit of elbow grease with a manual screwdriver, but it was made much easier by using the end of the screw driver to punch a small lead hole in the bottom of the cans.

Once all of the cans were affixed, I added a few cup hooks and magnets for hanging supplies that wouldn't fit in the cans, or that were metal and could easily bond to the magnets.  I added a sturdy hanger on the back to hang it on the wall. I filled them with my commonly used crafting supplies.

When all of the hooks, magnets, and cans were affixed, I had a ready to use craft supply center that not only keeps my supplies out of the way on my work surfaces, it keeps them at my fingertips, on the wall.  It was an inexpensive way to solve my organizing angst and a way to recycle, reduce, and reuse the coffee cans that could clutter a landfill or continue cluttering the shelf in my pantry.

A bit of innovation, determination, and recyclization (ok I made that last one up), and you too, can have a handy caddy to hang on your wall for your crafting, or other supplies!

If you found this project useful or if you have tried it out, please post a comment below.  Feel free to Pin, Tweet, FB, Link, Digg... or any other form of sharing.  I love to hear your feedback!

The Winds of Change and An Anchor to Drop

How do you handle change? Are you ok with it or does it unsettle you and put you adrift? 

It's funny how as I have gotten older, I am much more OK with change than when I was a younger woman. When I was younger, change threw me for a loop. The thought of moving out of my normal routine shook me. It irritated me. It made me very stressed.  Basically, I was a mess when change was in the air.  I would even prefer to be in a situation that was not rewarding rather than go through the uncertainty of change. 

After a lot of soul searching...
I realized that my aversion to change comes from the piece of me that likes and depends on anchors.  I grew up in one house, in one town, in a community that did not have a lot of turnover in population. Most of my family actually still lives in the same general area. Many of the kids I grew up with and graduated high school with were also my classmates in kindergarten. Many of them are still in same small town. These things all created consistency.  The idea of having some constants in life created a sense of stability for me - it created anchors.  

As the years have passed, and I have been put in situations that required me to move and go through life changes, I am much more OK with the idea of change. In fact, in many ways I welcome it. I realize how much opportunity it can bring and how much growth happens. In the change I learn about myself and expand who I am.


Change was hard...
At first the constant change was very difficult for me.  It left me feeling like I was drifting with no anchors to keep me from floating out to sea - and I am not a water person. As we made each move as my husband climbed the corporate ladder, I felt up-rooted and plopped into a new body of water, trying to find a place to drop anchor.  Many times the water felt too deep.

I let out my line, but held anchor...

But,I learned to let out my anchor and hold to the things that give me stability and the things that will never leave me or let drift aimlessly in the currents.  Even though I am not close in proximity to my family at this time in life, they are still my anchor.  My faith gives me a place to dock and find peace.  My beautiful daughters are the line that can never be cut or too short to hold me fast.  In my willingness to hold fast to my anchors but enjoy the journey in the different waters of life has opened my eyes to how big and how wonderful the world truly is.  It has also allowed and afforded me opportunities and relationships that I never would have experienced had I resisted the winds of change. 

Honestly, I still long for home.  That will never change for me.  But until I can be back, know that I am still anchored, it's just that the anchor line is let out a bit farther for now. 

How do you handle change? Do you feel lost at sea or do you find a place to drop anchor?

I Tip My Cap To You! A Tribute Craft To National Craft Month!

This morning as I was rushing to get out the door for the usual Saturday rush of activities - I once again wished I had a nice and fashionable black hat to don my head.  I've thought the same thing a thousand times, and always settled for a cap that didn't quite match. I'd just grab what I could to put atop my head. Little did I know at the time, that my afternoon project would not only grant my wish for a  fantastic black cap, but it would also be a fitting project for an AZ Mom of Many Hats, and a tribute to National Craft Month.


I made one... and you can too!
Here is how you can take a plain cap and make it an original masterpiece - in about an hour. 


Start with a plain cap. You can purchase a new one, or go to your trusty ball cap collection and re-purpose one that you already have. Which ever you choose what you end up with will be beautiful and unique!






Cut pieces of fabric scraps into designs that you'd like to see on your hat.  I wanted a floral theme on mine and happened to have a piece of fabric with flowers printed on them. Press the pieces with an iron to eliminate any wrinkles. Place the pieces on the hat in the positions that you want to adhere them in. If you can, try to put the cap on your head so you can see what it looks like on - sometimes it makes a difference in how the final placement looks. 

When you are happy with the placement, use fabric glue and tack down fabric in the center of the piece.  Do this will all pieces. Once all pieces are tacked, use a brush or toothpick to apply more glue to the edges of the pieces. Note: My glue favorite is Gem Tack Flexible glue by Beacon - it's for adhering gems, but works wonderfully for this project.



Once they have dried, use a tooth pick to place dots of glue around the edges of the fabric and adhere rhinestones.  Let it all dry - and in about an hour you have a fantastically fashionable cap! 

 Enjoy!

The Necessity of Being Needed.

We need to be needed, but neediness of others fuels our own neediness from others, but not being needed leaves us empty with no place to live out our purpose.....

Whew! hat was a mouthful. Pretty tough to type too....

Well hopefully I can clarify.

Being needed is a double edged sword.

We need to be needed. As a parents it is sort of a prerequisite to the job of parenting, meeting the needs expressed and unexpressed of our children. We feed them when they are hungry, clothe them to protect them from the elements, provide them shelter, love them unconditionally, cry with them and comfort them when they need support, cheer them when they need encouragement, discipline them when they are heading down the wrong path, and do all we can to ensure that they make it to the milestone of becoming an independent adult. In essence, our job of "parent" is based on the need of needing someone to meet another person's needs.

As a spouse we need to be needed too. We enter into a relationship and partnership with someone largely because of needs. We have a need for connection, a need for a place where we can mutually share life's burdens and support each other, and a need to have the stability and comfort of a "safe place" with them. There would no reason for a partnership of the people in the relationship did not need each other. In a healthy relationship each should express and feel need.

First side: Being needed acknowledges our purpose.

Being needed, in essence acknowledges us and gives us a sense of purpose - a place to live out who and what we are meant to be. Need and purpose are opposing tensions.... they need each other to exist. We all want to feel that someone needs us, that we do have a reason and a purpose in other peoples lives, and in our own lives. In the spirit of Michale J Hyde (a communication scholar) being needed feeds our purpose or "love of life." This is probably why the "empty nest" phase of life is so hard. We are not as needed on a day to day basis as our kids grow. It's probably a reason why relationships go south - when one or both people are not, or feel that they are not needed, a main purpose for the relationship is gone.

Second side: Being needed can drain us.

Conversely, being too needed can be draining and just as difficult as not being needed. When we are continually needed, we spend all of our efforts meeting the needs of others. Taking care of the need others, (although to some extent an obligation, responsibility and a purpose) saps our energy. We get weighed down and tired as our purpose gets lost in the task and duty of managing them. We need to have our needs met, but can't get them met because they are lost in the neediness (there's that tough thought again!) Again from Hyde, we experience a "suffocating embrace" of our existence. We feel called, lead and want to meet others needs, but the purpose begins to close in on us.

So what's the sheath?

For each of us, the sheath is going to be different.

It might be that we should evaluate why we need to be needed. It it masking another need? Is it our only purpose? We may simply strive to redefine what it truly means to us to be needed. Or in some cases we should re-evaluate relationships and whether the level of need is healthy and appropriate. In dealing with the neediness of others, what may be necessary is to see if our desire to fulfill their neediness is actually healthy and what they do "need," and is it healthy for us to fill it every time.

Whatever the sheath is for each of us, it is about balance. There is a necessity to be needed. Purpose and need exist together. However, if we move too far from either side center, we are going to feel the cut of the blade.