Sometimes You've Got To Stick Your Neck Out!

No one ever said that life would be easy.  No one ever said that things would just be handed to us.  No one ever said that we wouldn't be stretched by the goings on in life.  

Truth be told, life stretches us more than we can ever imagine.  We are busy, responsibility laden, and accountable to our families, our businesses or jobs, and our communities.  We're also accountable to ourselves.  

In all these areas, we are tugged, pulled, and stretched.  Often, we need to put in our own efforts to meet our accountability.  Often, we need to stick our necks out and stretch ourselves to reach goals!

How Do You Stretch Yourself? 

Soar High And Travel Far! Releasing Them Into The World!

Photo Courtesy of technicolor76 on Flickr

I have a distinct childhood memory of tying a note to a helium balloon and letting the balloon fly off into the sky.

Although I could not predict where the balloon would ultimately land, I daydreamed, speculated, and created a story in my mind of just who would find the balloon.  In my mind's eye, they would take the message that I wrote, be moved by it,  do something amazing with it, or at the very least, ask a question about who the sender was.  It was a way to live on and float out into the world.

I have a daughter graduating from high school this evening.  As I thought about and reflected on her time in school and how quickly it went, I was somehow transported back to releasing that balloon. My baby, my sweet daughter is very much like that balloon.

This event in her life and in my life is very much like that launch. From her first day of kindergarten to this day, it has been a journey- at times so long and at times so short.  Each day of that journey - from what she learned in her academic adventures, her social adventures, and in what we  instilled in her, filled her and prepared her to go off into the world - it was what prepared her to rise and fly.

As her dad and I send her off into the world, we are releasing her to fly.  We have attached messages of love, value, and importance to her. She carries messages from us into the world.  More importantly, those messages, if we have done our jobs well, will be ingrained in her, in what she is to the world, and who she is in the world. If we have done our job well, she will always know that she is unconditionally loved, and will carry that love and legacy to the world.  We can only dream of where she will land; the winds of life often carry us in unexpected directions.  Our story of what and who she is in the world will always have a vein of truth, yet, she will form the words and the language her own story.

So on this night of her release into the world and into her future, we wish for her to fly, catching the wind currents, embracing the sun that will shine on her, weathering and being stronger for the storms she will face, and landing in a place that fulfills her own heart.

To our sweet daughter, you are a gift to the world.  Although it is hard to let go of the string and let you go, we will relish in the beauty of your flight. We are proud to call you our legacy.  Soar high sweet baby!

V, V-I, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y... We All Need A Cheerleader Sometimes!

Do you ever wish you had a cheering section behind you when you are attempting something new, trudging on through a tough project or proposal, or are stretching your creativity and considering new ideas? Does encountering a "Devil's Advocate" at every corner wear you out? 

We All Need A Cheerleader

It is our human nature to need acknowledgement and affirmation. It is part of our hierarchy of needs... (thanks Maslow for bringing this to our attention....). According to Maslow, our need to be accepted, gain approval and recognition is smack dab in the middle of our seven levels of needs - needs that range from the basic physiological (food, thirst, sex) to the complex need of self actualization (knowing purpose and potential). Without each level, as persons, we can't move up the hierarchy.

Part of our feeling of approval, acknowledgement, affirmation, and recognition is knowing that someone supports us and believes in what we are doing. In essence, we need a cheerleader. Having someone support our ideas, lift us up, be happy for us and say, "yes! I believe in you!" is a crucial piece to our success, our motivation, and our desire to move on - especially when times get tough.

What Does A Cheerleader Look Like?

No... this type of cheerleader doesn't look like the ones that you are probably associating "cheerleader" with. This person doesn't run around with pom-poms providing half time entertainment at sporting events. The don't scream at the crowds around you and get them riled up and behind your cause or your idea. They don't build pyramids, shout, or do high kicks.

This person is the person that can say "I believe in you and your passion" even if they don't necessarily buy into your idea. They are the person that does not at every turn, play devils advocate and challenge you - at least not at the onset of your ideas. They are the person that when you feel tired and like giving up, they remind you of your passion, how far you have come, and of what you have in you to reach your potential. They are the person, that in your failure, supports you and still believes in you, not the one that says "I told you so."

Do You Have A Cheerleader? Are You A Cheerleader?

Hopefully you have someone in your life that cheers you on and supports you. Are cheerleaders necessary for EVERYTHING we do in life? Certainly not. We don't need a pat on the back because we went to the grocery store or because we got up to go to work this morning. But life is often a tough road. We are community creatures that need the support of community members to stand on that sideline and encourage us to make the play, reach the finish line, or achieve a goal.

Think about how you support others. Think about your own interactions and dealings with others when they are venturing into a new territory, presenting an idea to you, or sharing their passions with you. Do you cheer on or immediately question? Do you believe in someone, even when they fail?

I Challenge You To Do The Two Following Things:

• Make a mental of physical list of those that have cheered you on in life. Make an attempt to thank those that you can. 
• Assess yourself and recognize whether you are a cheerleader or a questioner. If you gravitate toward being a questioner, work on how and what you communicate to others. Adopt phrases that are affirming such as "I can see how much passion you have!" or "I can see the potential in your idea." 

Please share your thoughts below in the comments.  Do you prefer to be/be around a cheerleader or do you prefer to be/be around a questioner? 

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Backto School I go!

I have a kid in college. It’s hard for me to believe that I could possibly be that old.

At the time my daughter was considering her college options, she was discussing it with me, her mom, who had never set foot in a college classroom.

How could I help her make her decisions when I had no experience in making them myself.? How could she rely on me for sage advice if I had no clue of what she was going through and I had never had to navigate those situations. It would be like an inexperienced driver trying to coach another inexperienced driver through the Indianapolis 500.

So, I decided to change that. I enrolled in my local community college.

Now, I can’t say that I have had the same college experience I would have if I were my daughter’s age. I will never fully understand the whole dorm experience - my husband might take offense to me moving out and into such close quarters to other co-eds.

The experience I can say I have had is that I now have an appreciation for the process. I understand the heavy course load, the working through the red tape and paper work of enrollment and the exposure to ideas, mindsets, and philosophies that are different than my own. I understand the challenges, the triumphs, and the growing she will do in the next few years.

I have since earned my A.A. and transferred to a university speech communications program. In a way, her search for answers set me on a course to have my own questions answered.

I am so proud of my daughter, now a sophomore in college. She is facing the challenges of university life with grace, dignity, success……and the occasional call home to mom.

To my beautiful daughter: Thank you for asking the questions that spurred me into action. I love you very much and I know you will be successful on whatever path life brings you!

Put One Foot In Front Of the Other

As I have mentioned before in previous posts, I am a runner. In fact, next week I am running a 1/2 marathon with my husband on our 17th anniversary.

I am not a fast runner nor the most graceful runner. I don't live to run. I don't get that runner's "high" that people talk about. I don't read books about running. I don't do the special runner's diets before running events. I simply run to be healthy and to spend time with my husband.

This morning my husband and I did our last long run before the 1/2 marathon. We got up before dawn, charged up our i-pods, dressed in our warm running gear, laced our shoes, filled our water bottles, and were out the door while a gorgeous full moon still hung in the sky. We were off to spend some time in a mutual quest for the victorious completion of the race next week.

Sounds kind of romantic, doesn't it?

We ran 9 miles. We ran 9 long, hard, cold, painful miles. (Did I mention I don't get the runner's "high?)

Now if you ask my husband, I'm sure he would used different adjectives to describe the 9 miles. He would probably use words like easy, exhilarating, refreshing - nice words. To him running is easy. He has been pretty much a lifetime runner. He can run, and run, and run, and run- stamina never gives out. He can run until his body gives up. For him, running is all of those words that he would use to describe it. He does get that runner's "high". Whether it is cold or hot, terrain hilly or flat, he is hitting the pavement and loving every minute of it.

I, on the other hand, am relatively new to running. Besides getting to spend time with my husband, the part I love about running is being finished. To me, every step is work. This morning every step was work AND uncomfortable. My body ached, my hands were cold, the glare of the sun hurt my eyes. I felt like I trudged my way through the entire run.

But, as the old saying goes, no pain, no gain. I know that it takes hard work to get results. I know that if I follow through, I will not only feel great in body, but also in mind and spirit. Knowing the reward that awaits gives me the will to keep going. It gives me the will to just put one foot in front of the other until I have finished the race.

You've Got to Accetuate the Positive!

When January 1st rolled around, many of the women’s magazines touted headlines with diet plans promising quick, easy and significant weight loss. From accai berry to cleansing, carb-counting to food combining, volume eating to soup diets, all claimed that by using their strategies, women could melt the fat and shed the pounds quick!

Like many other women, I have had to manage my weight throughout my lifetime. I was not a small and thin child - in fact I was the one that got teased about my weight in school. In my preteen awkward years, I still struggled with fluctuating weight, battled eating disorders, and was obsessed and consumed by the number on the scale and the number of calories on my plate. And even though my weight regulated some as I became and adult, after three pregnancies, I again had the same struggles with weight.

Up until I hit my 30's, most of my life had been consumed with food. If I wasn’t thinking about what I shouldn’t eat, I was thinking about what I could eat for my next meal. From the moment I woke up in the morning to the time I went to bed, I was in a constant battle with myself over what I did or didn’t, and should or shouldn’t have put in my mouth. During this time of my life….those diet fads were pretty appealing to me.

But, sometime in the last 10 years or so, something in my mindset shifted. Instead of looking at all of the things I was doing wrong with my nutrition and weight, I started looking at all of the things I was doing right. I realized that I had always been active, and if I got tired or didn't like a particular physical activity, I found a new one. I realized that even though I had obsessed about food for years, I did know what good nutrition and sensible eating was for me - limiting fatty and fried foods, limiting packaged or prepared foods, watching sugar, eating lots of fruits and vegies in lots of different colors. Shifting to the positive thought process instead of the negative one actually motivated me to push my health goals farther.

Now as I am about to reach my 40's I am in the best shape of my life. I am healthy and active - running my first 1/2 marathon soon - and have stayed at a healthy weight. By accentuating the positive, I'm benefiting my health, my body and my future.

Do You Resolute?

This time of year is amazing.

It is a time of celebration, a time of new beginnings, and a time of ringing in the new year. It is a time when much of the world watches rose adorned floats travel through the city of Pasadena. It is a time when football fans anxiously watch as their favorite college team fights to be the Rose Bowl winner. It is a time when the entire world can reflect on the past 365 days and dream about what the next 365 have in store.


It is also a time of personal resolutions.

January 1st marks the fresh start of a new year. It marks a time when people can leave behind old habits and put in place new ones. Maybe it is lifestyle habit like smoking or unhealthy eating that needs to be changed. Maybe it is relationship habits, communication or dependency patterns that need to be changed. Maybe it is simply a resolve to look at life with a more positive attitude.

Whatever it is that the resolve revolves around, it takes determination, drive, and an honest desire to make a change in order for it to be effective. It also takes realistic expectations of ourselves, our bodies, our health and others. If we lack any of these things, we will certainly lose our focus and resolution to change.

There are some things to keep in mind as the New Year rings in.

• Every day is a new day and a new beginning - not just January 1st. If resolve waivers, the next day is an opportunity to start fresh.
• There would not be success if there was not failure. Let's not beat ourselves up if we don't reach a goal.
• The biggest part of learning comes not from reaching the goal, but from the journey we take to get there - whether we reach our destination or not.
• Keep resolutions realistic and attainable. There is a better chance of keeping them if we set ourselves up for success.

How do you mark the New Year? Do you resolute?

The Long, Long, Long Run

This is how Saturday mornings begin for my husband and me....

5am: Alarm rings playing some of my favorite music
5:02am: Alarm still playing some of my favorite music
5:07am: Alarm still playing some of my favorite music, however a different song than was originally playing
5:10am: I stumble out of bed, throw my hair in a pony tail, put on my running clothes and shoes, just in time to turn of my husband's 5:15 alarm.
5:25am: We both end up in the kitchen, miraculously avoiding stumbling down the 17 stairs that separate our room from the first floor.
5:40am: We fill our water bottles, grab our hats, sunglasses, and i-pods, and then make our way to the car to drive to our favorite running spot along the canal.
6am: We arrive at the canal after a 20 minute ride in sleep deprived induced silence, fire up the i-pods, check the shoes, and hit the dirt for the long, long, long run.

My husband and I run a 9 mile trail along the canal every Saturday morning.

You may be wondering why we do this, especially on a morning that we could be sleeping in. We do it because we are training to run a half-marathon on our 17th anniversary in January.

Now I don't run with nearly the efficiency, speed, or ease as my husband does. In order for him to run with me, he has to make adjustments. Because his stride is longer than mine, he has to adjust his steps so he is not running ahead of me. I don't have the same speed that he does, so he has to slow down his pace for me. When I am feeling like I have hit the "wall", he not only has to keep himself going, but also take on the role of being my cheerleader and encouraging me to continue. Conversely, I have to make adjustments for him too. My pace increases when we run together as I work to keep up with him. My steps become longer, more efficient and more fluid as subconsciously my body mimics his body movement. I become more self assured and confident in my ability to press on as he reminds me that I do have it in me to keep going.

I have to admit that it isn't always easy running together. There are times when I feel badly because I am holding him back and slowing his pace. I am worried that he may grow frustrated with me for being a burden- that he may not want to finish the race by my side. Sometimes, I feel that I am at my limit, and that gentle nudge of encouragement feels like it will push me over the edge.

But then, inevitably, he senses my feelings and frustrations. With just the right words - those he has learned through navigating 17 years of marriage to me, he helps me push just a little further towards my maximum potential. He assures me that he is in it for the long haul, every step of the way. He is there by my side, to cross the finish line with me at the end of the race.

In many ways, training for this race is a lot like our marriage. We each have different abilities, personalities, likes and dislikes. We have some viewpoints that are in line with each other and others that are in conflict. Through compromise and understanding, we travel the path of our marriage much in the way that we are training to run the half-marathon. We compliment each other in a way that allows us both to be the best we can be as individuals, as well as the best that we can be as one body in marriage.

We are as different as individuals as we are in our running abilities. But in the end, we have common goals and principles. Staying focused on our common goals keeps us strong on our journey, this long, long, long, run.