Every Breath I Take

For those of you that have read my blog, you probably have figured out that I am a runner. Not a very good runner, but a runner none the less.

Right now I am running 4-6 miles per run several days a week. Since I live in the desert south west, my runs are early morning events, usually just before sunrise so I can avoid baking in the summer heat. I gear up to the nines for my runs. I lace up my shoes (I have invested in great shoes - a must at my age. ) I fill my hydration and fuel belt with the necessary water and energy supplies. I grab my favorite hat and polarized sun glasses. And last but not least, the I-pod.

I mention the Ipod last because it is the last piece of equipment that I attach to my body before I head out the door. It is also an essential piece.

Off I go on my run being serenaded by some of my favorite artists - Nickelback, Guns n’ Roses, Pink, Abba, Journey, Kid Rock, Justin Timberlake - an eclectic mix of tunes that keep running and breathing in a rythnm that helps pass the time as my feet pound the pavement. The music is encouraging too. When Axle Rose sings about my “hair reminding him of a warm safe place“, or when Billy Squire tells me that “everybody wants me” what better motivation is there to keep the body moving?

But, yesterday’s run had a problem. A mile into my 4 mile run, the I-pod died…..kaput, zilch, nada, nothing, no juice in the battery, no tunes in my ears. There I was with 3,now much longer miles ahead of me to go. I had a choice, I could cut the run short and go home or trudge on. I chose to trudge on.

From that point on, instead of hearing my tunes, The only sound I heard was my feet pounding on the pavement, and my own breath getting louder and louder. My focus was no longer on my music, but on my body and how hard the running really is.

Every breath I took seemed to get more difficult, more shallow, and more of a distraction. I became very much aware of the inflow and outflow of oxygen that fuels my body. So much so that I began to obsess over it….and we all know that obsessing leads to the problem becoming bigger than it is. I struggled trough the rest of the run, my windedness overtaking me several times. But I eventually made it home, completing my 4 miles.

The point of the story is this….

With my music, I am distracted from the difficulty of the run. It doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult, but by having my focus elsewhere it doesn’t become a bigger issue than it really is…..it’s in a way kept in perspective. When I focused on my breathing and the difficulty I was having created a problem that was difficult to overcome. I gave it too much power, and it nearly overtook me.

I think this can be applied to most of life’s issues. We need to address them and at times trudge through them. But if we obsess about them, they gain a life of their own and then they take over our lives.

Giving up our power to life's difficulties is a choice. Today, choose to keep your power. Refuse to give yourself and your focus to things that really don't deserve it.

You've Got to Accetuate the Positive!

When January 1st rolled around, many of the women’s magazines touted headlines with diet plans promising quick, easy and significant weight loss. From accai berry to cleansing, carb-counting to food combining, volume eating to soup diets, all claimed that by using their strategies, women could melt the fat and shed the pounds quick!

Like many other women, I have had to manage my weight throughout my lifetime. I was not a small and thin child - in fact I was the one that got teased about my weight in school. In my preteen awkward years, I still struggled with fluctuating weight, battled eating disorders, and was obsessed and consumed by the number on the scale and the number of calories on my plate. And even though my weight regulated some as I became and adult, after three pregnancies, I again had the same struggles with weight.

Up until I hit my 30's, most of my life had been consumed with food. If I wasn’t thinking about what I shouldn’t eat, I was thinking about what I could eat for my next meal. From the moment I woke up in the morning to the time I went to bed, I was in a constant battle with myself over what I did or didn’t, and should or shouldn’t have put in my mouth. During this time of my life….those diet fads were pretty appealing to me.

But, sometime in the last 10 years or so, something in my mindset shifted. Instead of looking at all of the things I was doing wrong with my nutrition and weight, I started looking at all of the things I was doing right. I realized that I had always been active, and if I got tired or didn't like a particular physical activity, I found a new one. I realized that even though I had obsessed about food for years, I did know what good nutrition and sensible eating was for me - limiting fatty and fried foods, limiting packaged or prepared foods, watching sugar, eating lots of fruits and vegies in lots of different colors. Shifting to the positive thought process instead of the negative one actually motivated me to push my health goals farther.

Now as I am about to reach my 40's I am in the best shape of my life. I am healthy and active - running my first 1/2 marathon soon - and have stayed at a healthy weight. By accentuating the positive, I'm benefiting my health, my body and my future.

Can't See the Forest For the Tress....

"Can't see the forest for the tress. "

Have you ever heard this statement?

According to Bartleby.com, it is "an expression used of someone who is too involved in the details of a problem to look at the situation as a whole."

For me, this has special meaning. It literally has to do with trees - Christmas tress that is.

I have Christmas Tree issues. It is not that I think they are cliche' or unimportant. I do not fuss about the needles messing up my carpet or clogging the vacuum hose. I do not have to make my tree look perfect. I don't really care about the color scheme or the spacing of the ornaments.

My issue is my stress over simply getting the right tree (a fresh cut tree) into our home and getting it to stay in and upright position through the holiday. It is not only stress, it is an obsession.

Now, we have had our fair share of tree disasters. My stress is not completely irrational. Our trees have needed to be leveled using bricks, and propped up using books. We have had to anchor them to the wall with fishing line and string. One year, even after straightening, anchoring and propping, the tree still fell over three times, sending me into an emotional spiral - all over a tree.

We have had years of panic when we had no tree just before Christmas. Years of plenty when two were delivered to our home. We've cut every type of tree imaginable from lots, farms and forests. We've traversed highways, freeways, roadways and avenues with an evergreen tied to our roof. We've bungeed, twined, roped and anchored them to the top of our car, saying silent prayers all the way home that when we arrived, our treasured tree would still be with us. We've even had the mishap of forgetting the tree and trying to drive the car into the garage - the house still bears the scar.

I am absolutely aware of my tree issues. Still, every November, I slip into my tree obsession. I get cranky, irritable, frustrated, upset, and completely bent on finding the right tree. So much so that I lose sight of what the tree represents. I get so focussed on the silly tree, that I don't see that the reason I enjoy it is because it represents the time that I get to spend with my kids decorating it. I am blind to the life stories that the ornaments tell- baby's first Christmas, the paper angels from preschool or the macaroni photo frame from first grade. I am so consumed that I don't consider that the tree represents a season of hope, love, and salvation.

My vision is so fixed on the tree, that I don't see the whole forest of what the tree represents. I can't see the forest for the tree.

Do you get so caught up in the details of the season that you forget what it is all about?