Be Still and Listen

If you have been a long time follower of AZ Mom of Many Hats Blog, you have probably noticed a bit of calm and quiet on the site. Much of life has been happening in the "Mom of Many Hats" household. There have been challenges, changes, and choices to be made.  Many of these things required a lot of reflection, introspection, emotional energy, and being still and listening.

Hence... A mom of few words....

But, this brings up a very important issue for moms (and dads) of many hats - the fact that we often refuse to let ourselves quiet and slow down and take the time to listen to life. It is so easy to be busy, to rush on to the next event or deadline, to pour energy into things that have no measurable value in our lives. We live in a world of distractions and busyness that allows us to be constantly in high gear. We choose to not downshift.  Let's be honest...often, we don't slow down so we don't have to listen to what life is shouting at us.

But why don't we want to be still and listen to what life is telling us?

It's Painful. When we stop and be still, there isn't as much action and white noise interfering with our thoughts and emotions.  We are faced with and forced to take a look at what is happening in our lives. Painful issues that we have been able to zip by may now become a place that we need to visit. When standing still, grief, fear, and frustration catch up to us.  We've slowed down the train, and they jump on.

It's humbling. At a standstill, the scenery and sounds are much clearer than when we are zooming by it at 100 mph.  Being still causes us to feel our size in the vastness of the universe, but at the same time, the enormity of the impact that we each can have in it.  We have the chance to step out of our own perceptions of what the world is to us (entitlement), and decide who we need to be to the world (obligation). It's a tough and humbling experience to realize just how inwardly you are living when you are not standing still and listening.

It's deafening. That old oxymoron - deafening silence, holds true here.  It is sort of like the few days in our recent history that no planes were flying in the air.  The absence of the white noise in the sky made the organic sounds of the world around us scream.  Standing still brings up organic sounds of life; the questions of calling and purpose, reassessing who we are, having to face issues of living and mortality, looking at our faith, questioning and preparing for the future.  When we are still and listening, these sounds can feel overwhelming.

Even though it can very difficult, there are reasons why we should stand still and listen.

It's eye opening. When we step back, be still, and listen, there is an opportunity to take stock of how we are living.  A moment of quiet shows where ways can be changed. Actions, heart, motivation, emotions, areas that need to be fixed or tweaked become clear to our site when there is a break in the busyness of existing.  Convictions and character can be solidified as a rock to stand on - and we can see the areas we would not change as well.

It's restorative. Because life is a work out, there needs to be rest. The work stretches, tears, and challenges our existence muscles.  Our physical bodies need rest when they have been challenged and worked.  It is the time where repair, restoration, and rejuvenation happens.  So it is with our minds, spirits, and wills as we walk through life.  Being still allows us to catch our breath, steady our steps, refuel, and move forward. It allows us to find perspective, hope, and reason that can get loss amongst the chaos that is often a part of day to day existence.

It's our obligations as good life stewards. Our life is something that we are called to steward - to manage with unselfish ownership and accountability. Part of that stewardship is stop, rest and listen.  If we are in perpetual motion and constant action, we are actually living an inwardly centered life.  Slowing down and reflecting allows us to "shut our mouths and open our ears" to truly see how we are impacting, and how the world is impacting us.  The key to life stewardship is recognizing the responsibility to take proactive assessments of how we are living and being in the world,  acting when acting is due, but also listening, resting, and being still when it is due. 

I confess, that there are times in my life that I keep busy so I don't have to hear what life and God are speaking into my heart.  It can hurt to be corrected, called out, and humbled by what you hear. It can be hard to hear and feel  emotions. It can also be scary to see the opportunities ahead that you can step into. But regardless of how much our minds and wills fight it, regardless of how much we don't want to be still and listen, it is a necessary and crucial step for us as people, as women, and as mothers.

Do you have a  hard time being still and listening? 
Do you do it willingly or does life have to force it upon you?

Stressful to Simple - Holiday Season Calm

Just about now the last of the Halloween candy is becoming scarce. The kids' pillowcases of chewy, chocolate, sour-sweet gummy treats is just about dry.  And that extra bag of candy you bought... (you know the one; the nutty-chocolatey yummy kind) .... just in case there were more trick-or-treators than you'd expected, is empty.

The sugar crash has begun - just as the "Holiday Season" is beginning.

November brings with it the onset of the season of parties, celebrations, presents, and LOTS of food. It can be a joyous festive time of year.  It's the time to spend time with family and loved ones.   Giving and receiving special gifts and trinkets brings a sweet satisfaction as we see the wide eyed looks of awe on the faces of those who received the "perfect" gift.  It is a magnificent time.

It can also be a stressful one.

In the hustle and bustle of holiday season preparation, the abundant joy just waiting to be claimed is often lost. In our busyness of trying to create the perfect memory for our families and friends, we can lose sight of gift of sharing who we are, where we are.  Buying the right gift, or cooking a 5-Star worthy meal becomes the focus - task centered instead of presence centered.  What is supposed to refresh and restore us through sharing thanks and holiday cheer, can stress us and suck the energy out of us. That is, if we let it.

Stressful to Simple

There are things we can do to reduce the stress. It can involve changing what we do and how we do it. It can also change how we chose to look at things.  (By the way, changing what we do and how we do it, can also change how we look at things - double score! )

Here are some ideas reduce stress by getting back to the simple.

Create a Count-up project that you and your family can participate in. Instead of counting down the days (that focuses on time which translates for us, fewer days to get all we need to do done) create something that adds - a blessings and thanksgiving wreath or tree that reminds us off all that we do have, not the time that we don't have; a daily pocket change jar to be donated on a designated date that coincides with the holidays; or a progressive goal to honor someone such as walking a distance and increasing it each day till a set holiday- a show gratitude for the struggle and hard work done by those around us or those that have gone before. There are any number of things that can be done to remind of the blessings that we have. It's simple. It puts the stress in perspective.   or a - ie Chanukah  jar, holiday chain, thanksgiving tail feathers....

Reduce the time in your kitchen - spend the time in kitchens feeding those less fortunate.  If we have the means and time to purchase and prepare holiday meals and goodies, but our stress over the tasks robs us of joy, then spending time in a kitchen that feeds others just may be a solution.  Serving those that may not otherwise have a holiday meal brings comfort to the others, a sense of purpose to ourselves, and good dose of perspective about the things we stress out at the holidays.  If we have the means to purchase the holiday meal ingredients, there are lots of options for purchasing the prepared family style meal, and spending the time serving others. It's simple, it reduces stress, and it does good for others. (See the giveaway page for more info about prepared meals and a chance to win a gift card!)

Make something from the heart. If it is the stress of finding and buying the perfect gift, revamp your thinking about gift giving.  Each year there are lists created of the "perfect" gift of the season.  Still there is not a guarantee that the person will like the thing.  Instead, give a gift from the heart. A handmade item or unexpected gift catches the attention.  Include a handwritten personal note of why you chose or made that particular gift and instantly, the gift has meaning.  Be sure you are sincere... truly follow your heart, and the stress is replaced with the joy of giving.  It's that simple.

At this time of year, don't focus on doing it all and being it all to everyone all of the time. As much as we'd love to create a Holiday Season straight from the pages of a magazine, realize that the value and the memory isn't in how perfect the things of the holidays are, it is in how precious and blessed each moment of them is.  Move from stressful to simple this Holiday Season!

What is the most stressful thing about the Holiday Season for you?
How do you reduce the stress and find the joy?  

The Pink Haze - Awareness Is Cheap, Action is Priceless

As most of you probably already know, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

It seems almost impossible to NOT know.  The stores are full of pink ribbons, pink products, and pink commercials. The lovely pink hue permeates just about everything, from retail, to media, to bumpers stickers, to T-Shirts, to bracelets.  There is even controversy as people don slogans and sayings to work and school, supporting breast cancer "awareness",  arguing a right to free speech when questioned about them. We walk charity walks, stuff donation jars, and get in the pink spirit. We eat, sleep and breath pink. Pink is a part of our landscape - and we are becoming immune to it.

We are in a PINK HAZE - all for awareness.

But what about ACTION?

Awareness is a good thing. But it means nothing without action.

Women AND men are still dying of breast cancer.  Yes... that's right... men can be diagnosed with breast cancer too. According to BreastCancer.Org, (visit link for more statistics)

• 1 in 8 women are affected by breast cancer. 
• Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in women (aside from skin cancer).
• In 2011 there were more that 2.5 million survivors of breast cancer, but over 39,000 didn't survive. 
• Approximately 2,150 cases of breast cancer were diagnosed in men.

The point is, knowing about this doesn't change it. Doing something about it does. ACTION is what can change how this bastard of a disease affects women and men.

What are some of the action steps you can take?  I am so glad you asked...

• Get mammograms and other screenings, do self checks, and have clinical exams.
• Support funding for research - know where your donation dollars are going.
• Know that breast cancer is not always a lump and know other signs to look for- it can save lives. KNOW THAT THERE ARE OTHER SIGNS BESIDES THE LUMP THAT WE'VE BEEN TRAINED TO LOOK FOR AND LOOK FOR THEM. You are your own best advocate and  know what is normal for you. (See the SISTER CHECK)
• Learn about IBC (inflammatory breast cancer.)
• Talk to your doctor if you feel OR see any changes in your breasts.
• Don't be embarrassed to tell your significant other if you see a change in your breast OR theirs. Sometimes a second set of eyes of someone who knows us intimately can be the difference between early and later detection.  Cancer is not a solitary disease. 
• Support groups that make advances in the quality of treatment, the effectiveness of medications, the care of patients, and the support of families with loved ones in the battle is imperative to kicking the breast cancer monster's ass. 

Simple awareness is not enough.  In fact, too much awareness and not enough action becomes a problem in itself.  It turns to a fad, a marketing tool, or even apathy. When we wear the pink shades, it just becomes part of our everyday view and doesn't stand out anymore.  By being saturated with awareness, you could even say that we become less aware. 

Take off your pink awareness sunglasses and put on your hot pink ACTION safety goggles.  It takes work and strength. But with active steps, advancement in the diagnosis, quality of life, treatment and cure for breast cancer can be made. Awareness of an issue is not the same as action on it.

Awareness is cheap. Action is priceless.

Have you checked your breasts recently?

For related posts please visit:
My Sister's Cancer
Breast Cancer Hop: My Sister's Story
The Reality Of Pink

New Week Notions - Mountains

In every phase of parenting, relationships, jobs, and life, we face mountains.  They are an inevitable part of our travel on our own personal roads.  However, as moms and dads, the mountains seem to have such a huge significance - there is so much more at stake.  Parenting challenges, household finances, job stability, are constant inclines that seem never ending. We are not just climbing the mountains to meet our own goals or to strengthen our own selves.  The climb has a different consequence.  It affects the outcome and path of our children's lives. Than responsibility often looks so huge that we can see nothing else.  We feel as if we are climbing mount Everest.

Just for today, take a step back. Catch your breath.  Survey the hill ahead.  With a fresh view, you may see that what you thought was an insurmountable peak, is really just a foothill. You'll find the inspiration and the strength to put one foot in front of the other, until you've reached the peak.

Coffee Lover? National Coffee Day!

September 29 2012 - National Coffee Day! 
(Give away entry now closed 10/3/12)

I am a coffee enthusiast! I love my java, crave my joe, and dream of my liquid sunshine in a cup awaiting me in the morning, warm, bold, and yummy. I have a two cuppa morning routine- ok, who are we kidding.... it's probably more like 4....


How fabulous it was for me to have the chance to sample Tully's Coffee AND to be able to share the experience with one of my blog readers!  

Head on over to the GiveAway Page to see how you could be the recipient of this amazing Tully's Coffee.

They Said It Would Get Easier - They Lied...

I am in the midst of sending the second of my three daughters off to college and into the world.

In my years of parenting older teens, as the college years approached, I always heard that it gets easier as each one goes.  Friends with good intentions gave me advice, freely recounting their momentous experience of finally being empty nesters. They told me that with each flight, a bit of freedom came. By the time the third little birdie flew the nest, I'd be a pro and barely bat an eye.  In fact, they said that I'd probably do a happy dance as she ventured off into the world.

It gets easier? I could not agree less!

My first went off and it was hard. I missed her terribly, but the emotion that took over was fear.  I questioned if I had given her the right preparation for life to manage on her own.  I worried for her safety and well being to the point of not sleeping.  Daily I questioned who I was as a parent and if I had done my job and given her the right tools to succeed, be happy and be healthy.  I obsessed on if she was getting to and from class safely, if she was figuring out how to be on her own, if she was going to class, and if she was getting enough sleep.  I battled that for months. After a few life lessons and knocks that she worked out and walked her way through, I realized that I had given her what I could to figure out how to be in the world.  She'd call sometimes for guidance, but I knew in my heart that she would be successful in whatever she did. She was strong, able and capable- we saw her triumph.

Ok... I got the parenting thing down. I don't question that much anymore.  But now my second is going off and it is hard for me.  I know I have stocked the life tool box and shown her how to use them.  She will make the choices of when and how to use them - she will figure that part out.  Surely I'll worry about the things that I did with the first, but not in the same way or to the same degree.  But still, it is hard, but in a different way.

My angst this time is not centered on safety and well being.  Since I experienced that with the first, fear is not the dominant emotion - I processed that already and know how to manage it.  Feeling confident in my parenting and how I prepared them has left time for a different type of emotion.

This time a difficult mixture of sadness and joy is dominating.  I feel the sadness of grieving of turning over my precious child to the world.  I feel the grief of remembering the child that was held nearly every second of every day until she was 2 1/2 stepping out of my physical grasp.  I feel the grief of sending my child who didn't want to be the center of attention, didn't want to play on a soccer team because she thought there would be boys on it, and didn't want mom and dad to make a big deal publicly out of things, into a phase of life that pushes each one of those areas in her life. I feel sadness because I know that I am sending her into a world where she will have to play on teams she doesn't always like, because she will have to stand out on her own and shine, and that at times, she will need to step into the spotlight.

I also feel great joy in each of the things I grieve, because I know like our first, she will be triumphant.   There is joy because I know that I, along with her dad, have helped her to be a strong and independent woman.  I feel joy, because she is embracing life, taking a risk, and figuring out who she is.  I feel joy because I know that in parenting her and her sisters, we have prepared them for life and the world.

So I say to all those that told me that it get's easier - either you were trying to soften the blow,  you truly couldn't wait for your children to leave, or you refused to face how difficult it really was.  Our children our extensions of us.  They will become their own people and make their own path in life if we have prepared them well.  But when we send them off, we are sending parts of us with them - and it is painful.

The good news is, in the pain, there is growth - for us and for them. Even though pain is not something we  usually choose to walk into, I will gladly accept the discomfort. There is great reward in the end.

Does Organization Drive You Up A Wall? Put it ON the Wall!

I LOVE to get my crafty on, but my organization skills when it comes to my supplies is a bit.... well.... lacking. The prospect of getting all of my stuff organized is so overwhelming. Scissors, tape, glue guns, pens, sewing needles, paint, glitter, scrap paper, you name in, it is in my supplies.  Every time I feel the creative part of me nipping my heels, I dig through boxes and boxes to find what I need.  It takes up so much horizontal space and working surface area. I know I need to get a handle on it, but it drives me up a wall!

Regardless, it has to be done.

In Mom of Many Hats fashion, I tackled the job of organizing head on, finding a solution to my organization issues and strife, as well as the frustration of the crafting supplies taking up my surface space.  I decided to not let it drive me up the wall... I decided to put it ON THE WALL!

Using a prefab shelf piece (only cost about $3.50)  some coffee/coffee drink cans I had been saving for just the right project, a couple of mug hooks and some magnetic strip, hot glue and screws, I put my creative hat on and got to work!

First, I took the coffee/coffee drink cans and placed them on the shelf board in a pattern that is both appealing and functional.  I placed the plastic lid on the bottom of the cans for an extra bit of stability and a bit of non slip security.  When I had them in the pattern I liked, I took a dab of hot glue to temporarily affix them to the shelf board.

Next, I used a small 1/2" screw to permanently attach the cans to the board.  It took a bit of elbow grease with a manual screwdriver, but it was made much easier by using the end of the screw driver to punch a small lead hole in the bottom of the cans.

Once all of the cans were affixed, I added a few cup hooks and magnets for hanging supplies that wouldn't fit in the cans, or that were metal and could easily bond to the magnets.  I added a sturdy hanger on the back to hang it on the wall. I filled them with my commonly used crafting supplies.

When all of the hooks, magnets, and cans were affixed, I had a ready to use craft supply center that not only keeps my supplies out of the way on my work surfaces, it keeps them at my fingertips, on the wall.  It was an inexpensive way to solve my organizing angst and a way to recycle, reduce, and reuse the coffee cans that could clutter a landfill or continue cluttering the shelf in my pantry.

A bit of innovation, determination, and recyclization (ok I made that last one up), and you too, can have a handy caddy to hang on your wall for your crafting, or other supplies!

If you found this project useful or if you have tried it out, please post a comment below.  Feel free to Pin, Tweet, FB, Link, Digg... or any other form of sharing.  I love to hear your feedback!

Soar High And Travel Far! Releasing Them Into The World!

Photo Courtesy of technicolor76 on Flickr

I have a distinct childhood memory of tying a note to a helium balloon and letting the balloon fly off into the sky.

Although I could not predict where the balloon would ultimately land, I daydreamed, speculated, and created a story in my mind of just who would find the balloon.  In my mind's eye, they would take the message that I wrote, be moved by it,  do something amazing with it, or at the very least, ask a question about who the sender was.  It was a way to live on and float out into the world.

I have a daughter graduating from high school this evening.  As I thought about and reflected on her time in school and how quickly it went, I was somehow transported back to releasing that balloon. My baby, my sweet daughter is very much like that balloon.

This event in her life and in my life is very much like that launch. From her first day of kindergarten to this day, it has been a journey- at times so long and at times so short.  Each day of that journey - from what she learned in her academic adventures, her social adventures, and in what we  instilled in her, filled her and prepared her to go off into the world - it was what prepared her to rise and fly.

As her dad and I send her off into the world, we are releasing her to fly.  We have attached messages of love, value, and importance to her. She carries messages from us into the world.  More importantly, those messages, if we have done our jobs well, will be ingrained in her, in what she is to the world, and who she is in the world. If we have done our job well, she will always know that she is unconditionally loved, and will carry that love and legacy to the world.  We can only dream of where she will land; the winds of life often carry us in unexpected directions.  Our story of what and who she is in the world will always have a vein of truth, yet, she will form the words and the language her own story.

So on this night of her release into the world and into her future, we wish for her to fly, catching the wind currents, embracing the sun that will shine on her, weathering and being stronger for the storms she will face, and landing in a place that fulfills her own heart.

To our sweet daughter, you are a gift to the world.  Although it is hard to let go of the string and let you go, we will relish in the beauty of your flight. We are proud to call you our legacy.  Soar high sweet baby!

V, V-I, V-I-C-T-O-R-Y... We All Need A Cheerleader Sometimes!

Do you ever wish you had a cheering section behind you when you are attempting something new, trudging on through a tough project or proposal, or are stretching your creativity and considering new ideas? Does encountering a "Devil's Advocate" at every corner wear you out? 

We All Need A Cheerleader

It is our human nature to need acknowledgement and affirmation. It is part of our hierarchy of needs... (thanks Maslow for bringing this to our attention....). According to Maslow, our need to be accepted, gain approval and recognition is smack dab in the middle of our seven levels of needs - needs that range from the basic physiological (food, thirst, sex) to the complex need of self actualization (knowing purpose and potential). Without each level, as persons, we can't move up the hierarchy.

Part of our feeling of approval, acknowledgement, affirmation, and recognition is knowing that someone supports us and believes in what we are doing. In essence, we need a cheerleader. Having someone support our ideas, lift us up, be happy for us and say, "yes! I believe in you!" is a crucial piece to our success, our motivation, and our desire to move on - especially when times get tough.

What Does A Cheerleader Look Like?

No... this type of cheerleader doesn't look like the ones that you are probably associating "cheerleader" with. This person doesn't run around with pom-poms providing half time entertainment at sporting events. The don't scream at the crowds around you and get them riled up and behind your cause or your idea. They don't build pyramids, shout, or do high kicks.

This person is the person that can say "I believe in you and your passion" even if they don't necessarily buy into your idea. They are the person that does not at every turn, play devils advocate and challenge you - at least not at the onset of your ideas. They are the person that when you feel tired and like giving up, they remind you of your passion, how far you have come, and of what you have in you to reach your potential. They are the person, that in your failure, supports you and still believes in you, not the one that says "I told you so."

Do You Have A Cheerleader? Are You A Cheerleader?

Hopefully you have someone in your life that cheers you on and supports you. Are cheerleaders necessary for EVERYTHING we do in life? Certainly not. We don't need a pat on the back because we went to the grocery store or because we got up to go to work this morning. But life is often a tough road. We are community creatures that need the support of community members to stand on that sideline and encourage us to make the play, reach the finish line, or achieve a goal.

Think about how you support others. Think about your own interactions and dealings with others when they are venturing into a new territory, presenting an idea to you, or sharing their passions with you. Do you cheer on or immediately question? Do you believe in someone, even when they fail?

I Challenge You To Do The Two Following Things:

• Make a mental of physical list of those that have cheered you on in life. Make an attempt to thank those that you can. 
• Assess yourself and recognize whether you are a cheerleader or a questioner. If you gravitate toward being a questioner, work on how and what you communicate to others. Adopt phrases that are affirming such as "I can see how much passion you have!" or "I can see the potential in your idea." 

Please share your thoughts below in the comments.  Do you prefer to be/be around a cheerleader or do you prefer to be/be around a questioner? 

Bandwagon Approaching - Listen to the Music!

Today I will not jump on any bandwagons. Instead, I will read the music and the lyrics, find my rhythm, and march the road to the beat of my own drum. ~ AZ Mom of Many Hats

I am not one to jump on bandwagons. I never have been.

It’s not that I think there is something wrong with standing for a cause – there isn’t. It is a very noble thing to support what you think in your heart is the right thing. Society has improved and evolved by people standing together and standing up for what is right.

My issue is with bandwagons.

Bandwagon has a couple of definitions.  It’s exactly what the name says – a wagon that carries a band.  It’s also a cause or group that appeals to people because of apparent success. Both definitions have a draw factor.

Should we jump on bandwagons blindly though?

It is ingrained in my personality to not simply follow for the sake of following.  That is not me, not my own personal style, and not my need.  But, I know that there are those who want and need to be a part of the latest thing.  This is not a lacking or a flaw; it is simply part of who they are.  However, whether we resist the popular pull or feel drawn to it, I don’t think we should jump onto bandwagons blindly.  There is danger in that.

Would you board a train, a plane, a taxi or a bus, simply because you liked the song that was playing over the speakers? 

If you answered this question with “yes” – you are much braver than I am, and I wish you a safe trip.  But, my own answer would be "no".  I would want to know more about the driver, the vehicle, and the destination.   

Bandwagons are much like these vehicles.  They have tremendous appeal, popular support, and often celebrity endorsements.  They play a great song. Not that this is bad… but this appeal can overshadow the sense of responsibility as individuals to find out information about the events surrounding the bandwagon.   There are questions that should be asked before joining in.

Do we know all sides of the story?

Do we know who is at the reigns?

Do know where the wagon is heading?

After asking these questions, if you are comfortable with the answers you find, then climbing on may be what your heart tells you to do. The band on the wagon may be playing your song. It is a good and noble thing to follow YOUR heart.

For me, however, I have a need to investigate and contemplate.  Wagons are great for some, but I need to reflect upon what is right and true to my heart.  Often it is the song that is blaring from the wagon that matches my heart.  However, I need to know that I am in control of my participation. So, I will listen to the music and the lyrics, find my own rhythm, and march down the road to the beat of my own drum.

What do you think? Do you jump on bandwagons?

The Winds of Change and An Anchor to Drop

How do you handle change? Are you ok with it or does it unsettle you and put you adrift? 

It's funny how as I have gotten older, I am much more OK with change than when I was a younger woman. When I was younger, change threw me for a loop. The thought of moving out of my normal routine shook me. It irritated me. It made me very stressed.  Basically, I was a mess when change was in the air.  I would even prefer to be in a situation that was not rewarding rather than go through the uncertainty of change. 

After a lot of soul searching...
I realized that my aversion to change comes from the piece of me that likes and depends on anchors.  I grew up in one house, in one town, in a community that did not have a lot of turnover in population. Most of my family actually still lives in the same general area. Many of the kids I grew up with and graduated high school with were also my classmates in kindergarten. Many of them are still in same small town. These things all created consistency.  The idea of having some constants in life created a sense of stability for me - it created anchors.  

As the years have passed, and I have been put in situations that required me to move and go through life changes, I am much more OK with the idea of change. In fact, in many ways I welcome it. I realize how much opportunity it can bring and how much growth happens. In the change I learn about myself and expand who I am.


Change was hard...
At first the constant change was very difficult for me.  It left me feeling like I was drifting with no anchors to keep me from floating out to sea - and I am not a water person. As we made each move as my husband climbed the corporate ladder, I felt up-rooted and plopped into a new body of water, trying to find a place to drop anchor.  Many times the water felt too deep.

I let out my line, but held anchor...

But,I learned to let out my anchor and hold to the things that give me stability and the things that will never leave me or let drift aimlessly in the currents.  Even though I am not close in proximity to my family at this time in life, they are still my anchor.  My faith gives me a place to dock and find peace.  My beautiful daughters are the line that can never be cut or too short to hold me fast.  In my willingness to hold fast to my anchors but enjoy the journey in the different waters of life has opened my eyes to how big and how wonderful the world truly is.  It has also allowed and afforded me opportunities and relationships that I never would have experienced had I resisted the winds of change. 

Honestly, I still long for home.  That will never change for me.  But until I can be back, know that I am still anchored, it's just that the anchor line is let out a bit farther for now. 

How do you handle change? Do you feel lost at sea or do you find a place to drop anchor?

I Tip My Cap To You! A Tribute Craft To National Craft Month!

This morning as I was rushing to get out the door for the usual Saturday rush of activities - I once again wished I had a nice and fashionable black hat to don my head.  I've thought the same thing a thousand times, and always settled for a cap that didn't quite match. I'd just grab what I could to put atop my head. Little did I know at the time, that my afternoon project would not only grant my wish for a  fantastic black cap, but it would also be a fitting project for an AZ Mom of Many Hats, and a tribute to National Craft Month.


I made one... and you can too!
Here is how you can take a plain cap and make it an original masterpiece - in about an hour. 


Start with a plain cap. You can purchase a new one, or go to your trusty ball cap collection and re-purpose one that you already have. Which ever you choose what you end up with will be beautiful and unique!






Cut pieces of fabric scraps into designs that you'd like to see on your hat.  I wanted a floral theme on mine and happened to have a piece of fabric with flowers printed on them. Press the pieces with an iron to eliminate any wrinkles. Place the pieces on the hat in the positions that you want to adhere them in. If you can, try to put the cap on your head so you can see what it looks like on - sometimes it makes a difference in how the final placement looks. 

When you are happy with the placement, use fabric glue and tack down fabric in the center of the piece.  Do this will all pieces. Once all pieces are tacked, use a brush or toothpick to apply more glue to the edges of the pieces. Note: My glue favorite is Gem Tack Flexible glue by Beacon - it's for adhering gems, but works wonderfully for this project.



Once they have dried, use a tooth pick to place dots of glue around the edges of the fabric and adhere rhinestones.  Let it all dry - and in about an hour you have a fantastically fashionable cap! 

 Enjoy!

That Hill Is Just a Better Vantage Point!

Living here in the beautiful Desert South West, there are a lot of places to do nice day hikes. Some of them are technically pretty easy, and some of them are very challenging. Some are long trails with slow inclines while others are short but steep inclines. Still others fall someplace between the two. All of them take a lot of endurance in stamina or strength. And all have a reward at the pinnacle.




Do you ever have those days that it feels like every step is like climbing up a mountain? You know the kind of day...

The kind of day when it feels like you are hiking a long trail with a heavy pack on your back. Each step you take physically feels like you are battling the hill, trudging your way slowly up it, step by step. Your is pack weighted down by too little sleep, spreading yourself too thin, having to be five different places at once, and juggling all of you day to day responsibilities to make the climb any easier.

Or there is the kind of day when it is not physical exhaustion, but mental exhaustion that is making your traverse difficult. The tasks in life that you are facing - taxes, putting kids through college, meeting the deadlines at work, planning your next career move, feel like boulders in the path that you must make your way over. The thought of taking the next step is overwhelming and over-weighting.

Then there is the kind of day that the uphill trek is slowed and complicated by emotional exhaustion. The dealings of relational life send rocks tumbling down that we must dodge or catch so we can continue on. Rifts in family or marriage, sickness, emotional stressors of raising kids careen at us causing our ascent up the hill to seem near impossible.

Whatever the kind of day it is, we look at the mountains we are hiking up and you get so caught up in the elevation and path that we must climb to get to the top that we just can't seem to wrap our brains around how we are going to get there. To get to the top, we must dig deep from the bottom of our souls, carry on even when we feel like giving up, and climb even when the muscles of our wills are crying out from the pain of being worked to its limit.

But take heart.... There is a reward. 

At the top of each mountain is a pinnacle. That pinnacle holds the gift of a panoramic view of the valley we have ascended from.

Every hill we traverse has the reward of a new vantage point. If we digest and really reflect on our journey to the top of the hill, we see our world from a point of clarity and distance. Yes, we may be tired and need a moment to catch our breath and let our bodies rest. But in that moment our eyes are open to what lies ahead of us as well as the accomplishment of what we have overcome to stand at the top of the climb. Our resolve is strengthened, but our hearts are softened as we see what is possible, and feel for those that are struggling up the trail.

How do you see the hills in your life? Have you let them strengthen you or defeat you?

Go And Get Your Own Yardstick!

How Do You Measure Up? 

I recently had one of those conversations with my daughter… the kind that just breaks your heart.  As soon as we started the conversation, I was transported back to times when I felt the same way that she was describing.  I could empathize, sympathize and hear my heart crack with each word.This is what she was feeling –

 That She Was Not Good Enough.

She felt like she had to work her tail off, and still not see the results that came to others so easily when they worked at those things.  To her, she did not measure up to what others were doing . That was tough on her.  In her mind, her value and importance was based on achievements that others were accomplishing. She couldn’t see how amazing she truly is because she was measuring by other’s yardsticks.

As her mom I comforted her and let her know how brightly she shines, regardless of what a result was in a particular task. I reminded her that she is an amazingly artistic, creative, and entrepreneurial kid.  She has an uncanny way of figuring out how to get things done. Although she is in the height and throws of teendom, she has a worldly ability that is far beyond her years.  She is brilliant, radiant, and kind hearted.  It’s almost absurd that she can be all these things, yet still feel like she falls short. I could say that is lack of life experience or maturity, but we all know that life experience and age has nothing to do with it.

Admit It-  You’ve Felt This

By a raise of hand, click of a mouse or a share of this post (ok… had to get some shameless promotion in there somewhere) how many of you have felt this way?

I know that more days than not, not being “good enough” pops into my thinking.  Some days it is a hindrance that I can step over, kick to the curb, or sweep under the rug.  Other days it is a full blown obstacle. I get so caught up in the size of other people’s yardsticks that I think mine pales in comparison. “ My job wasn’t as “important” as theirs. I “just” made this contribution, but they made “that” one.  They are more “put together” than I will ever be. “ Whether it is a conscious though or a subconscious feeling, there are days when it is hard to realize the things that my yardstick has measured.

Time to Re-Measure

When we are feeling this way, or when our children are feeling this way, it is vital that we realize that we should never measure ourselves according to what others have done.  Each person is an individual and gifted in different ways.  Even if two people share the same type of strength, so many factors go into how that strength plays out, that how those strengths manifest could be very different. One persons yardstick may have measured a mile, but another’s may have measured 1 yard 1,760 times. Is either one less accomplished than the other? Don’t both show strength and tenacity, even though it showed in different ways?

Get Your Own Yardstick

Next time you are tempted to use your friends, neighbor’s, or society's yardstick – do yourself a favor. Go and get your own.  You will be much happier when you own it, keep it, and see it for what it is - a measure of you from the floor on where you stand.  Not a measure of you from where someone else stands.

What do you think? Do you compare yourself with others to see your own value? What is one area of life in which you need to get your own yardstick? 

6 Easy Kid and Parent Friendly Projects for Valentines Day!

Are you crafty??

Here are six easy projects you can do with candy hearts to spruce up your Valentine table! 

We don't typically do a lot of decorating for Valentines Day, but it sure is fun to put a bit of the Valentine spirit into the days festivities.  why not have a fun afternoon with the kids and share a few minutes after school today to bring a touch of love to your home or table? These 6 crafts are the perfect way to do that! All of them can be done by you or by your kids, and all can be done in 30 minutes or less. These are fantastic ways for you to have fun, to be creative, and to foster the same in your children.  Enjoy these simple crafts that take no more than a bag of candy hearts and some things you probably have around the house! Enjoy!

The Romantic Candle! 

Time: 5 minutes

Find a few of your favorite sayings on the large candy hearts.  Heat up your hot glue gun - low temp glue guns work just fine.  Glue the hearts to the lower portion of a candle, spaced evenly. (I used a red candle left over from the Christmas holidays) Place in a pretty candle holder and Viola' ! A romantic candle to brighten your table! 

Note: ALWAYS use caution when burning candles - extinguish the flame before you leave the room and before it gets down to the level of the candy hearts. 

I Give You My Heart Plaque

Time 30 minutes

Separate candy hearts by color - a great way for your kids to work on color recognition and organization.  Use as many colors as you'd like.  Draw a heart on a piece of cardboard or other solid base. If you want and accent color on the base, apply that first - covering the entire base.  Use white glue to apply the hearts, one color at a time, to the inside of the heart.  Let it dry before standing upright. This is a colorful way to give your heart, or your child to express how much they love mom, dad, siblings, or other family!

Heart Jewelry

Time 20 minutes

For the little ones, a simple candy heart necklace can be made from ribbon and hearts.  Choose one large heart and approximately 14 small hearts in the sayings and colors of your choice.  Cut a piece of ribbon approximately 18 inches long.  Starting in the center, glue the large heart with low temp hot glue. Working out from the center, glue the smaller hearts in the pattern you desire.  

For the more experienced jewelry maker, use beads and jewelry findings to create a pendant style necklace.  Adhere findings to the heart using hot glue and string on a simple string rope.  

Keep My Heart

Time 30 Minutes

Using a re-purposed candle jar from the holidays, or any other container you have, create a "Keep My Heart". Glue a piece of fabric to the top of the lid and let it dry. Using low temp hot glue,  glue a large heart to the center top of of the jar and let completely dry.  Using small hearts, choose your favorite colors and sayings to line the lip of the lid.  Adhere with low temp hot glue.  In minutes you can have an adorable keep sake for Valentines day!

Sweet Hearts and Flowers for Your Hair!

Time 10 Minutes

Find some of your last year's spring silk flowers and create a fun hair decoration.  Decorate the center of the flower using a single large candy heart in your favorite color.  Affix the heart with low temp hot glue and let dry.  Affix the newly decorated flower to a hair pin or clip and you have hearts and flowers for your hair! 

A Vase for Your Valentine Flowers!

Time 20 minutes

Using two containers create this candy heart vase.  Insert a small container into a larger one - making sure that there is about 1 inch between the perimeter of the smaller container and the larger one.  Fill the space between the two containers with candy hearts.  Fill the inner container with your favorite flowers or greenery! Simply stunning! 

Love is in our actions. Take the time today to have fun and be creative with your kids.  These are simple projects that you can do together to make your Valentine's Day a bit more fun! If your kids are too little or are grown, have fun with these projects yourself. We show love by what we say, but also in the effort we make to show those special people in our lives that we love them.   ENJOY! 

Do you have any other suggestions? I'd love your comments and feedback on these easy crafts! 

In The Blink Of An Eye

Where does the time go?

I thought it was only yesterday – but I guess I am wrong.  The memories are so clear and the feelings so real.  That day I brought her home – how can that have been 15 years ago?

As I have gotten older, time just seems to fly by. 

When my kids were young – when I was young, time just seemed to tick by so slowly.  The days, at times seemed endless. Running after little ones, doing laundry, and keeping the little ones occupied stretched the minutes, and often my patience to the limit. Tantrums, potty training, battles of the wills, bedtime drama, all left me worn and tired.  And although the days seemed so long, night and sleep never seemed long enough.

I remember the looking for, hoping for, and waiting for the next milestone with such anticipation.  Will she tie her own shoe today? Is today the day she will dress herself?  Is she going to have as much fun at school as I will have in my couple of hours of alone time? Anticipation, waiting, and rejoicing when the times finally came were the norm.  Not because I was anxious to have grown up children, but because I wanted to see them learn and grow.  And let’s be honest, as they grow, the physical demands of motherhood change.   As they hit those milestones, I looked forward to some of my own energy, time and sleep back.

But, now, it moves so quickly.  It was in the blink of an eye, my family grew up.  My little girls have become young women and are beginning to step out into the world as independents.  Each day passes by before I know it and I am one step closer to having grown three adults. 

It is a happy, but also a sad thing for a mom.  I still look with anticipation for the milestones they will hit – driver’s license, turning 18, graduating from college, starting a career.  I look forward to watching them spread their wings and soar, but I also feel the pang of not having them in my grip.  The desire to loosen my hold and the demands it brought are replaced by a desire to hold on and say “don’t go yet!”

Isn’t that the way?  The times we don’t want to end seem to end way too quickly. 

As  I watched my youngest daughter blow out the candles to celebrate her 15^th year of life, I was struck.  My time as the everyday, every action influence is limited.  It will move fast.  It will be gone before I know it, and I will have raised three beautiful and capable women. 

So for now, I will make the most of the time I have with them.  I will cherish every moment, each memory, and each milestone.  I will hope for them, dream for them, love them, and do my best to prepare them.  The days that I had to drag time along behind me have passed.  Now it runs in front of me, outpacing me.  I will hang on to the memories in my heart and mind, for I know that I can’t capture the time and keep it still.  

How about you? Has time passed by in the blink of an eye? How are you cherishing the moments? 

The Reality Of Pink

I dedicate this note to my sweet sister Amy and my three cousins who have battled or are battling Breast Cancer. I also dedicate it to my two aunts in heaven who both battled this disease.

I am spurred to write this as a response to a blog post I saw posted by my sister that talked about how we are "pinked out". The article is a fantastic blog post written by one who is doing their part to raise funds for the prevention, cure, treatment and awareness of breast cancer. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your efforts to that very special and dedicated person.

The "pink" movement has gotten a lot of attention. Just about anyone in the US who saw a pink ribbon would probably have some recognition with it in regards to breast cancer "awareness". It is a good thing that people know that breast cancer exists, and that they should get mammograms and do self checks. But simply being aware of it is not enough. Pink shouldn't just be seen as a pretty ribbon, a cute water bottle, or a trendy bracelet that has caused an uproar. Pink shouldn't just be limited to one month for people to be "aware" of breast cancer. Pink doesn't stand for something that happens to other people. It doesn't stand for a bonding experience you may have with another person on a fund raising walk. It doesn't stand for something that affects a certain sex.

The thinking needs to change. Pink should stand for reality. The reality that this could happen to you.

This is what pink should stand for. It should stand for the scars that women AND men carry on their bodies from surgeries to remove lumps, lymph nodes, and breasts. It should stand for the pink port-a-cath entry point where drugs are injected, that often themselves can have side effects. It should stand for the previously untouched by the sun skin on women and men who have lost or chosen to take control and get rid of the hair on their heads and the rest of their bodies. It should stand for the red, dry, cracked skin that may be a side effect of chemo for some. It should be for the radiation burns that can happen as a result of radiation therapy. It should be for the scars and the pain that the families, friends and loved ones have if they have lost someone to this disease. It should be for tired and hurting feet on the long road to treatment and recovery.

I get that people may read this note and think that I sound angry. I am. I am angry at cancer. But I am also angry at the watered down attitude that people have about this. I was one of those - until it happened to my sister, and three cousins -and untill there was a total of three out of five women in this generation on ONE side of my family with breast cancer.

Instead of a pink pretty ribbon, would a photo of a pink lumpectomy or mastectomy, a pink burn, a pink port, a pink scalp, a face pink from shedding tears, would those things get the attention and make people snap into reality? Instead of the recognition of pink as a breast cancer awareness marketing tool (and I use that in the sense of recognition) when will we snap into reality? Pink isn't a cutesie marketing and fundraising tool. Pink stands for WAKE UP PEOPLE! THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!