Sands Of Time - Fall A Little Faster Please!

Life is lived forward, cherished backward, and savored here.

If we are truly honest with ourselves, we can probably all say that there have been moments in our parenting, in our marriages and in our lives in general that we have truly wished would pass quicker than they seem to be moving. In those times we wish we could tap the top of the hourglass, hoping to help the sands of time fall a bit quicker. The moments and hours drag on...

• Little ones having tantrums.
• Spouses bickering and snapping at each other as life brings them challenges to overcome. 
• Elementary school kids and homework battles.
• Jobs, home responsibilities, family stressors, finances. 
• Teens and boyfriends/girlfriends, driving, high school drama, driving, graduating and college stress. 
• Trying to keep our fort... errr... thir... ok... trying to be as healthy and look like we did in our pre-children, pre-life days. 

In those moments that seem to be countless and unending, that seem to defy  how we understand time to move, the moments that we are tired and weary - we wish we could speed the hands of time to the hour that we finally feel content.

Here's the problem...

Happiness is a speedy and lofty prey. We will never catch it if we are chasing it.

Life goes on in a forward moving direction and at a fixed pace. It's the laws of time and space that we have no control over. That forward motion includes stepping through and experiencing each moment, even the tough ones. Wishing for the quick passing of those tougher times, looking and hoping for contentment to come in the next moments, robs ourselves of happiness and wastes our efforts. If we choose not to look for contentment and happiness in the moments we are currently living, we have let a precious gift slip through our hands. A gift that will out run us. We will be left looking behind us, wishing we had savored the moments of joy, the moments of light, and the contentment that were present all along.

In your tough moments today, look around you and find something you can savor. Take off your racing blinders that keep you focused on what happiness the future may hold. You will see that in the here and now, in the midst of challenge, happiness lives if we let it.

In The Blink Of An Eye

Where does the time go?

I thought it was only yesterday – but I guess I am wrong.  The memories are so clear and the feelings so real.  That day I brought her home – how can that have been 15 years ago?

As I have gotten older, time just seems to fly by. 

When my kids were young – when I was young, time just seemed to tick by so slowly.  The days, at times seemed endless. Running after little ones, doing laundry, and keeping the little ones occupied stretched the minutes, and often my patience to the limit. Tantrums, potty training, battles of the wills, bedtime drama, all left me worn and tired.  And although the days seemed so long, night and sleep never seemed long enough.

I remember the looking for, hoping for, and waiting for the next milestone with such anticipation.  Will she tie her own shoe today? Is today the day she will dress herself?  Is she going to have as much fun at school as I will have in my couple of hours of alone time? Anticipation, waiting, and rejoicing when the times finally came were the norm.  Not because I was anxious to have grown up children, but because I wanted to see them learn and grow.  And let’s be honest, as they grow, the physical demands of motherhood change.   As they hit those milestones, I looked forward to some of my own energy, time and sleep back.

But, now, it moves so quickly.  It was in the blink of an eye, my family grew up.  My little girls have become young women and are beginning to step out into the world as independents.  Each day passes by before I know it and I am one step closer to having grown three adults. 

It is a happy, but also a sad thing for a mom.  I still look with anticipation for the milestones they will hit – driver’s license, turning 18, graduating from college, starting a career.  I look forward to watching them spread their wings and soar, but I also feel the pang of not having them in my grip.  The desire to loosen my hold and the demands it brought are replaced by a desire to hold on and say “don’t go yet!”

Isn’t that the way?  The times we don’t want to end seem to end way too quickly. 

As  I watched my youngest daughter blow out the candles to celebrate her 15^th year of life, I was struck.  My time as the everyday, every action influence is limited.  It will move fast.  It will be gone before I know it, and I will have raised three beautiful and capable women. 

So for now, I will make the most of the time I have with them.  I will cherish every moment, each memory, and each milestone.  I will hope for them, dream for them, love them, and do my best to prepare them.  The days that I had to drag time along behind me have passed.  Now it runs in front of me, outpacing me.  I will hang on to the memories in my heart and mind, for I know that I can’t capture the time and keep it still.  

How about you? Has time passed by in the blink of an eye? How are you cherishing the moments? 

Simple Memories...

One of my favorite memories of fall from my childhood is coming home from school one day and seeing the our house turned into a festive Halloween spectacular.

My family had never really decorated for Halloween before. We always went trick-or-treating, but the whole Halloween scene was not really our thing as a family. We dressed up as angels, fairies, rag-dolls; things that were fun but not scary. Ghoulish garb and horror based themes just didn't sit well with three girls growing up in our house.

One afternoon, I walked in the front door and was completely amazed. While I was at school, my mom decorated our dining room with little ghosts hanging from the ceiling, cotton cobwebs in the corners and black and orange decorations through out the room. The decorations were innocuous, cute simple decorations, but they were created from my mom's heart - solely for the enjoyment of her daughters. But, to me, it looked like a Halloween wonderland.

Everyday I am amazed at the extent that we, as mothers - or fathers, will go to ensure our kids happiness. I am also amazed at how complicated we have made the process of ensuring their happiness. We try to do it with big gifts, expensive clothes, the most incredible trips, all in an effort to make sure their life experience in the short time that they have with us is amazing.

Now some may disagree with me, but I think we overdo it. We shower them with the best "things", trying to make sure that what they have is at least as good or better than what their friends have. By giving stuff, we think that they are fulfilled and happy. But does that really make them any happier? Does that make them feel any better about themselves?

I know that walking into my house that afternoon after school, I felt loved, and lacking for nothing. The only "things" that were given to me were some tissues suspended from the ceiling by paper clips and a some old quilt batting stretched and pulled to look like cobwebs. But the intangible thing I was given that day, was knowing that my mom did this simple gesture because she loved me.

How do you try to ensure children's happiness? Are you a giver of things? Or, are you a giver of the gifts from your heart?