EXTRA! EXTRA! News Reporter Mom

Wow….I’ve been M-I-A as far as posting about my hats.

Last week, our family dog, Fina was ill. We have had her for 6 years and she is an important member of our family.

We took her to the Vet on a Thursday afternoon. They ran a bunch of tests and sent us on our way. The following Friday night (of course as the kids and the household were closing down for the night) the vet called with the news. Our beautiful dog Fina was diabetic and having complications.

Then, I had to break the news to the girls. It was a long night after that.

The rest of the evening was filled with mad internet searches about canine diabetes and treatment, comforting broken hearts, and the life changes it would mean to all of us, if she was treatable. It also included what would happen if she was not treatable.

As moms, we are generally the bearers of much of the news that needs to be distributed to our families. Whether it is good news or bad news, news of a fun event or even the death of a pet, friend, or loved one, we moms have to find the right words to deliver the news. Even if we don’t deliver the initial message, we have to deal with the emotional ramifications and have to find a way to manage what has transpired.

This is not an easy Job!

We have to find the right words to actually convey the message, but, at the same time, filter our words so that they will be heard and understood by our children - with the least amount of pain. To add to the intricacies of this type of communicating is the fact that each one of our children are different, respond differently to situations, react differently to stress, grief, and conflict, and generally process things differently from one another. Not to mention, we have to manage our own feelings about the news.

There is no sugar coating the donning of this hat. It is not easy one to wear when the news is bad. However, just as with every other hat we wear, it is necessary to complete our wardrobes as moms.

The only advice I can give is when it is time to take this one out of the hatbox is to know your children, be honest with them, but also be aware of the words you are using. If you do, you will wear it effectively until it is time to put it back in its box.

P.S. We are treating Fina’s diabetes and she will hopefully have many more happy years with us.

It's a Dog's Life

Elsie and Fina stand at my bedroom door. They anxiously await the treat in the pantry, the treat that I give them each morning. They follow me downstairs into the kitchen prancing and voicing their excitement for the yummy morsels they are about to get. They beg, sit, then in a single bite their treats are gone. They stay underfoot as I prepare my morning coffee, hoping that perchance, I will show them mercy and give them one more treat. They stare at me with longing eyes.

Once they realize it is a futile effort, Elsie and Fina move on. They wait at the food dish for a delicious breakfast of kibble - small crunchy bites of canine cuisine. With gusto, they quickly partake of the morning feast. They take a quick drink and then it is on with their morning.

They follow me around the house, hungry for attention. They each find a toy. With expectant postures, they bring them to me. As I take the toys, they both prepare for the fetch. They dart off of as I throw only to quickly return to repeat the game. This continues until they tire.

Elsie and Fina sprawl out on the cool tile in the front entryway, belly to floor, chin resting on their front paws. For a little while, they are content sleeping. But, as soon as they awake, they begin a playful game of chase, each taking turns catching and chewing on the other.

As I prepare to leave for the morning, both of my "girls" watch me exit through the garage door. I know that when I return, they will both be waiting at the same door, smiling in their own animal way, with a warm welcome that only two of man's- or woman's best friend can give.

These sound like pretty nice dogs, don't they?

The thing is, Fina is a 95 pound, 6 year old black Labrador. Elsie is a 5 pound, 5 month old American short haired kitten that baffles me every time I look at her.

Now, I am not trying to offend cat lovers. Nor am I trying to pigeon hole all cats. But, I must admit that in general cats turn me off. They can be be sort of snooty, stand-offish....arrogant. They seem to own us, not us them.

But not Elsie. She baffles me because she acts like a dog. I expect her to be one thing, but she acts like another. She doesn't fit the mold that I have made for her. She marches to the beat of her own drum....or at least Fina's drum.

I think that as people, we expect certain things of others as well as ourselves. When others don't measure up to what we think they should be, we are disappointed. When we don't live up to what others think we should live up to, we are disappointed in ourselves.

Now of course there are certain things that we must do in the roles and responsibilities that we have been given in life. However, I believe that there is courage, beauty and wisdom to be gained by accepting that we don't have to be what everyone, including ourselves, thinks we should be. By challenging expectations, we learn about ourselves. We figure out who we are at our core - what truly makes us tick. By challenging expectations, we find out who we are....just for ourselves.

What can you do today that doesn't fit the "mold" of who you are?

Post a response, share an e-mail or tell a friend what you have discovered about yourself.

P.S. By breaking my mold, I have discovered that I am much more extroverted and edgy than I, or others thought I was. There's more, but maybe I'll reveal it in another blog!