I Hate Pink Ribbons

I hate pink ribbons....

As I sit here at my screen, I am looking at a jar of hand cream.

It is an unassuming jar - nothing really that special about the cream itself. It's not imported or infused with oils, scents, or the latest antioxidants.  But still this jar of hand cream is catching me, and weighing heavy on my heart.  I don't move it because it is a connection I have to my sister.




I hate pink ribbons....

This jar of hand cream is the jar that my sister used during her battle with inflammatory breast cancer.  Her chemo and treatment were so harsh on her skin, that she had to bath her burning, itching, peeling skin during her 4 year and 9 month long life and death battle with a bitch, a demon, a monster of a disease.

I hate pink ribbons... 

As a family with a history of breast cancer, we were MORE than AWARE of breast cancer.  My sisters and I have had regular mammograms, done self-exams, and had clinical exams.  Some of us had them earlier than the "recommended" age. We looked for the symptoms that the happy, pinkified campaigns suggested. We always looked for the lump. We were aware. And we didn't know what we didn't know.

I hate pink ribbons...

Still, my sister had symptoms of breast cancer for months and didn't know.  She was diagnosed at stage IV of inflammatory breast cancer.  SHE HAD NO LUMP.  She had what she thought was a rash. She had some swelling that she attributed to being lopsided.  She had a dimply - orange peel like texture to her breast that she thought had to do with hormones or the rash.

I hate pink ribbons. 

None of what we were aware of ever told us to stop and take a good LOOK at our breasts. We weren't aware of the symptoms of inflammatory breast cancer. With as many pink ribbons as we saw, as many lumps we looked for, as "aware" as we were as a family, none of us knew about this type of breast cancer and these symptoms. We learned pretty damn quickly that this type of breast cancer leaves women with only a 35-40% 5 year survival prognosis. My sister died 4 years and 9 months after her diagnosis. We learned that it is a less common type of cancer but a very aggressive cancer that is diagnosed at a younger average age than other types of breast cancer. We learned very quickly that it often does not manifest in the form of a lump. We learned that there are visual changes that can accompany IBC, that we were not aware of. (For more information about IBC - inflammatory breast cancer visit The IBC Network, and see the sister check graphic above for possible visual cues. )

I hate pink ribbons...

So why do I hate pink ribbons? I hate them because they do not tell the whole story.  The pink ribbon has become the symbol of the "cause of awareness".  I hear slogans of "support awareness"- just what the hell does that mean? At this point in history, if you are not aware that there is something called breast cancer you have lived your life under a rock.  I hear of parents fighting for their kids right to wear a band with the word "boobies" on it as a matter of their right to free speech and belief.  I see retailers and businesses pushing pink in "support", but fail to mention if any of your purchase supports anything.  I see the pink ribbon associated with community, and happiness, and fun - which is not a bad thing, but that was not the ending of the story for my sister and our family.

I hate the pink ribbons because to me, they trivialize my sister's death.  To me, they don't support research, education, action, prevention, access to support for patients and families that are in the trenches of the war with cancer.  The pink ribbon doesn't show what families that have lost loved ones have gone through.  They don't show the grieving, the heartache, the life change that happens when a woman or a man dies as a result of breast cancer. I hate the pink ribbons because they leave out the what you don't want to hear about cancer. They are a symbol for awareness. We could have all the awareness in the world. But without action, education, research, support for patients and family, it means absolutely nothing.

I hate pink ribbons because they show the pretty side of the pink movement - cancer is anything but pretty.

Is this an angry writing? Yes. My writings about this used to be hopeful as she truly fought the good fight. She won a lot of battles. But in the end - cancer won the battle for her breath. My anger comes from losing my sister. It comes from grieving.  It comes from wishing there was a better prognosis for women who are affected by IBC. It comes from feeling like we were on top of awareness, and we weren't.

To be clear, I am not saying that you should not engage in any campaigns. MANY organizations do good.  I am simply saying to be aware that there is more that is needed than just awareness. Please - educate yourself.  In today's information age, you have access to search and learn about breast cancer. There are so many good resources out there.  Don't rely solely on a campaign or an awareness month to understand YOUR health.  Be a good steward of your life. Take action and accountability where you can - learn what you can.

Let me revisit a statement a few lines back.  In the end, cancer won the battle for my sister's breath. BUT, it did not win the battle for her spirit and her soul.  She is singing praises in heaven with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and that brings us peace. However, in our humanness, until we see her again, we will miss and grieve for her. No number of pink ribbons can change that.

As I sit here looking at this jar of hand cream, I think of my sister. And I think I HATE PINK RIBBONS.

Here's a challenge: Ask a business person who is pushing pink in support just how much they are donating toward a research cause, a patient support cause, a treatment cause, and education cause... if they are donating something, than great. If not, take what you would have spent on that item and donate it directly to an organization that supports beyond awareness. 

The Pink Haze - Awareness Is Cheap, Action is Priceless

As most of you probably already know, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

It seems almost impossible to NOT know.  The stores are full of pink ribbons, pink products, and pink commercials. The lovely pink hue permeates just about everything, from retail, to media, to bumpers stickers, to T-Shirts, to bracelets.  There is even controversy as people don slogans and sayings to work and school, supporting breast cancer "awareness",  arguing a right to free speech when questioned about them. We walk charity walks, stuff donation jars, and get in the pink spirit. We eat, sleep and breath pink. Pink is a part of our landscape - and we are becoming immune to it.

We are in a PINK HAZE - all for awareness.

But what about ACTION?

Awareness is a good thing. But it means nothing without action.

Women AND men are still dying of breast cancer.  Yes... that's right... men can be diagnosed with breast cancer too. According to BreastCancer.Org, (visit link for more statistics)

• 1 in 8 women are affected by breast cancer. 
• Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in women (aside from skin cancer).
• In 2011 there were more that 2.5 million survivors of breast cancer, but over 39,000 didn't survive. 
• Approximately 2,150 cases of breast cancer were diagnosed in men.

The point is, knowing about this doesn't change it. Doing something about it does. ACTION is what can change how this bastard of a disease affects women and men.

What are some of the action steps you can take?  I am so glad you asked...

• Get mammograms and other screenings, do self checks, and have clinical exams.
• Support funding for research - know where your donation dollars are going.
• Know that breast cancer is not always a lump and know other signs to look for- it can save lives. KNOW THAT THERE ARE OTHER SIGNS BESIDES THE LUMP THAT WE'VE BEEN TRAINED TO LOOK FOR AND LOOK FOR THEM. You are your own best advocate and  know what is normal for you. (See the SISTER CHECK)
• Learn about IBC (inflammatory breast cancer.)
• Talk to your doctor if you feel OR see any changes in your breasts.
• Don't be embarrassed to tell your significant other if you see a change in your breast OR theirs. Sometimes a second set of eyes of someone who knows us intimately can be the difference between early and later detection.  Cancer is not a solitary disease. 
• Support groups that make advances in the quality of treatment, the effectiveness of medications, the care of patients, and the support of families with loved ones in the battle is imperative to kicking the breast cancer monster's ass. 

Simple awareness is not enough.  In fact, too much awareness and not enough action becomes a problem in itself.  It turns to a fad, a marketing tool, or even apathy. When we wear the pink shades, it just becomes part of our everyday view and doesn't stand out anymore.  By being saturated with awareness, you could even say that we become less aware. 

Take off your pink awareness sunglasses and put on your hot pink ACTION safety goggles.  It takes work and strength. But with active steps, advancement in the diagnosis, quality of life, treatment and cure for breast cancer can be made. Awareness of an issue is not the same as action on it.

Awareness is cheap. Action is priceless.

Have you checked your breasts recently?

For related posts please visit:
My Sister's Cancer
Breast Cancer Hop: My Sister's Story
The Reality Of Pink

Breast Cancer Hope - My Sister's Story

I wrote this three years ago this month, but needed to share it again. If you are a woman or a man, you MUST KNOW ABOUT INFLAMMATORY BREAST CANCER! The side bar shows a list of symptoms to look for. Google it, research it, know about it. Below are some links to assist you.


Please read the follow up on Amy's story at the end of this post.


My Sister's Story


Although this is written mostly from my perspective, I write this entry with the permission of my beautiful sister Amy who is a true warrior and survivor.


I remember the day last February that my sister called me.


I was sitting in my car in the parking lot at the community college where I was taking classes. My phone range, and on the other end of the line was my sister, barely able to speak. She was in tears after leaving her general practitioner's office and on her way to a breast surgeon. Her doctor had sent her from his office, directly to a specialist because of the urgency of his suspected diagnosis.


I went home and researched the symptoms she had that caused her doctor alarm and prayed that his suspicions were wrong. The information I found was scary, devastating, and grim. It said that, if her doctor was right, the statistics said that there was only about a 20% survival rate.


She called me that night and confirmed that her general practitioner's suspicions were right. She had inflammatory breast cancer.


The next several weeks were so difficult. There was a complete feeling of helplessness, fear, and hopelessness as we learned more about this type of cancer. As a family we were grieving.


But, soon after her treatment started, we saw that there was hope.


Amy began and aggressive course of chemotherapy. Within four months of treatment, her MRI and other scans showed that the cancer was slowing, retreating, and inactive. She had a radical mastectomy six months after her diagnosis and healed well. Additional scans and MRIs showed that her body was holding up well and responding to treatment. Her doctors are very happy with her progress.


Some of the hope comes from two drugs that are being used in the course of her treatment. The first is Zometa. This was originally used to strengthen bones, but according to Breastcancer.org, it has been shown to help prevent the spread of breast cancer tumors. The second drug is herceptin. Herceptin works by blocking receptors on cancer cells. By blocking the receptors, the cancer doesn't get growth signals, and therefore, stops growing. *


Another source of hope is that she has seen doctors that don't use a 'one size fits all' approach to treating her cancer. Her doctors have taken the time to understand who she is, what her cancer is, and how they can best treat her. Many of them specialize in only breast cancer treatment. From the cocktail of medications in her chemotherapy, to the surgical aspect of her treatment, to the physical and psychological aspects of her healing, her doctors see her as an individual, not a statistic.


There is hope in that there are many organizations dedicated detection, prevention and finding a cure for breast cancer. All over the country, groups gather to walk and run in support of breast cancer research. Corporations donate portions of sales of certain items to breast cancer research foundations. There is hope that each day research is done, is one day closer to a cure.


Although there is an incredible amount of hope in what can be done through people, the greatest hope is in the faith that she has, and that we have as a family. From the moment she was diagnosed, she has had an army of supporters around her. She is loved and prayed for on a daily basis by every one of them. As a family of faith, we believe in the power of prayer and are confident that she will find healing. We know that God is in control of every situation, especially this one.


That day in February started a long and dark night. But, as hope has set in, the sun is rising again, shining bright on my beautiful true warrior and survivor sister, Amy.




Update, Oct 2011. Amy is still fighting - a true warrior. Part of her treatment was a mod-rad mastectomy. She has undergone collectively 24 months of chemotherapy and a round of radiation. She is still in treatment and we still maintain hope in her full healing of Inflammatory Breast Cancer!


To read her full story, Please visit her site:


Amy's journey with IBC can be found at her website.
http://www.familyaffairratz.com/Amy_s_Battle_I.B.C.html


IBC Info:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/inflammatory-breast-cancer/DS00632
http://www.ibcresearch.org/


*Breastcancer.org
If you have a hope story, please be a blessing to someone who is in the battle. Reach out in an e-mail, phone call, or response to this post.


Next post: Cancer Blessings

Cancer Blessings

Cancer Blessings.....

At first glance, these two words don't fit together. They appear to be an oxymoron. How can cancer, something so horrible and devastating, be paired with such a lovely word as blessing? How can a word that brings on the feeling of mire and darkness sit next to a word of hope and light?

I would say that they do fit together. I know my sister Amy would.

Amy and I have been in almost daily contact since her diagnosis. Many of the days have been dark and scary. But even in midst of some of the worst days, Amy has always been able to speak of the things in her life that were good. She has never lost site of her blessings in the blinding storm of cancer.

The following are just a few of the many, many blessings she has.

Amy is able to stay home with her son. She hadn't had the opportunity to do that before as she was the major source of income and health insurance in her family. Cancer forced her to take time off of work. Because she has had this time, she is able to spend more time watching her soon to be teen aged son grow and become a wonderful young man.

She has always been blessed with a husband who has always been incredibly nurturing and supportive of her. A hidden strength in him has been revealed as she has watched him solely take on the role of provider and protector of their family. Through this trial, they have both had to take on new identities in their marriage, and as a result they have grown stronger and closer as a couple.

The many people she has met who are sharing the same battle as Amy, have also been a blessing to her. She is blessed to know that although others are there to support her, only those that have fought the fight can truly understand what she is going through. She has been able to be a support to them as well as receive support from them.

Amy has found the ability to rejoice with those that have good news, even when hers is bad. She has also learned to not feel guilty when she rejoices in her own good news even though those around her may not be doing as well.

She has learned just how much she is loved and by how many people. Old friends, relatives, new friends and mere acquaintances have shown her love that she didn't think she was worthy of (of course those of us who love her, know she is worthy of it.) She has had help with meals, transportation, house work and daily tasks by people who are committed to helping her through this battle. She has even had co-workers donate enough sick days for her to maintain her position as a teacher until January.

She has had a crash course in releasing things into God's control, and knowing that it is OK that she can't control everything or even anything. She has learn to let go.

She has learned to appreciate and see the beauty in the small stuff. When her son didn't wake up to his alarm and she had to drag him out of bed, she was grateful that she will have more time to drag him out of bed while the alarm is blaring. She enjoys her home and the pond in her backyard. She sees an amazing beauty in them that she didn't fully recognize before.

Seeing God in the "trenches" has been an incredible gift in this time. She has found strength and hope in knowing that no matter how deep the pit, she can never fall out of the reach of God.

This is just a list of a few of the blessings she has received.

Cancer Blessings.....I think those two words sit together in an awesome juxtaposition.


If you have Cancer Blessings, please be a blessing to someone else by sharing with an e-mail, a phone call, or a comment to this post.

Get Your Pink On!

Pink is the new black....well at least in the month of October. In stores, newspaper advertisements and magazine articles you will see this color permeating our consumer landscape. Will you cave to societal or peer pressure and jump on the new color trend? Will you outfit yourself or your home with this rosy hue? Are you willing to go pink and support breast cancer research?

If so, read on....

Now I don't advocate going out and spending money just for the sake of spending money. But, if you are in the market for something in particular and are going to be spending your dough anyway, you may as well support a good cause. Right now you have the chance to get a little shopping done for yourself or for the upcoming holidays and support breast cancer research at the same time.

Here are some ways you can GET YOUR PINK ON!*

Pink and pretty...
Payless shoe source is offering a silver toned ribbon charm on a pink cord for $2 and is donating a portion to breast cancer research. In addition, the bracelet packaging has a $5 coupon off of a $25 purchase. But you better hurry! because the coupon is only valid from October 21 through November 3, 2008.

New York & Company stores are offering a pretty pink limited edition lip gloss for $3 with $1 from the sale being donated to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

Pink and Practical...
Don't forget the batteries to go along with the holiday gifts you'll be giving this year. Why not purchase Energizer MAX batteries that have a special offer of a Stephanie Johnson Cosmetic Bag. For each bag shipped, Energizer will donate $1 to Susan G. Komen for the Cure ($10,000 minimum donation; up to $15,000 maximum donation)

Pink and Think...
Think environmentally friendly. Many grocery stores are offering reusable shopping bags and donating some or all of the proceeds from the sales of the pink pouches to breast cancer research foundations. The bags cost $1-2 each.

Britta's Grand Pitcher with free Nalgene bottle lets you not only be good to the environment, but also to your body! The pink pitcher filters your drinking water as well as raises awareness of breast health. Britta is offering $50000 donation to the City of Hope with no purchase necessary. But come on...if you need it anyway, may as well get the pink!

Pink and Perfect...
Search online for designers that are carrying or creating lines of clothing with proceeds that benefit breast cancer research. Some great items can be found at www.pinkitude.com. You just might find that perfect accessory that you've been looking for.

Pink and the Kitchen Sink...
Well, not really the sink - but things you might find in the kitchen. The Houdini corkscrew (Metrokane) is donating 2% 0of each purchase to the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center.

The Taylor pink glass digital food scale is a reminder of breast cancer awareness. Taylor will donate $10,000 to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. No Purchase is necessary, but again, why not go pink?

Kitchen Aid products have been available in pink for some time now. Check out the Kitchenaid website to see how a purchase of one of their pink products can benefit breast cancer research.

Pink and Pick-up
Now there is no way around it. We all must do some housework. Why not do it in style with one of many household items that come in pink?

Dyson is offering an upright vacuum and a hand vac in pink with a portion of the proceeds being donated to The Breast Cancer Research Foundations. Check out their website for details and where you can find the product.

Shark is donating $1 from the sale of each Shark Steam Mop to Breastcancer.org.

There are too many pink items out there for one person to list. Check out your local stores, your newspapers and internet searches for more items that help to raise breast cancer awareness and support funding for research.

Now that you have some information - go and GET YOUR PINK ON!

*Information was gathered through local newspapers, internet searches and website information. Check product websites for availability and donation details.

Amy's IBC Journey

Amy's journey with IBC can be found at her website.
http://www.familyaffairratz.com/Amy_s_Battle_I.B.C.html