Fortyness - Life in the Doldrums

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A doldrums is a still state, a state of non-movement, a state of non-growth, a state of stagnation. Upon the sea it is a treacherous state to be in. It can be the death of a sailor, leaving the boat stranded in the vast ocean as but a stranded speck upon the unending water. The sailor is dependent upon the wind and currents to move the boat - to take it to its destination. The sails can be raised, the rudder can be moved, but without a wind or current, nothing happens but a stirring of the water and the hanging of vast pieces of fabric. Although it takes skill to maneuver the boat among the water, the sailor, with all the ability in the world can go nowhere if there is no energy or force to propel the boat.

This idea of stagnation, of stillness, of being stuck in a state, knowing that there is a destination to reach but a lacking of energy to get there, can apply to people as well. This, to me, captures a lot of what Fortyness is.

In this era we have been propelled by the forces of life. We have reached goals in careers by hard work and choice that have been a catalyst for much of what we do and how we exist. Educational goals have been or are being met. The hard work and time investment in our higher learning cast us into social and academic circles that helped us to understand who we are in that setting. We may have had marriage of family responsibilities that dictated what and who we needed to be, not only by necessity, but also by choice. Who we are has been defined by what roles have occupied the prior years of our life.

But as this era of fortyness settles in, our identity comes into question. A period of redefining begins. This period often times feels without a driving force. It is in many ways like a doldrums.

As our age increases, we see the time we have to truly understand ourselves seems to decrease. We search for meaning in life, in relationships, in work, and in many of the things that used to serve as the fuel of our identity. At the same time, the roles we have depended upon are changing. The frenzy of parenting in many ways slows. There may not be much left of accomplish at work. We have the degree, now what? The forces that helped to move us along suddenly slow, and then stand still. We look for another destination that we know is out there, the destination of our true identity, but we have no movement toward it. We are stuck pondering. We are in a doldrums of life.

So what do we do?

If the sailor were to not continue to raise the sails, he'd not be able to test the wind. If he didn't eventually move the rudder, how would he know it there were any current? If he were to simply give up, he'd surly be lost at sea, never to reach the destination. So he continues on with the motions of sailing, hoping to find the hint of movement. Eventually, the sails catch the wind, and he is on his way again. We need to be like the sailor. We need to continue on, searching, asking and pondering who we are, and going through the motions of life. Eventually we will find a new fuel in our fortyness that will bring us to our destinations of knowing our identity. It may be just a small breeze that our sails catch or a raging storm, but undoubtedly, we will move from the doldrums and back into the currents of understanding who we are.

Waves or currents...

Have you ever stood and looked at the ocean?

It is so vast and so powerful. On the surface the waves crash about, with force, swiftness, and sometimes destruction. They have the power to slam bodies to the ground, erode the shorelines, and break apart the boats that call it's surface their home. The waves come and go. When the storms are gone, the water is calm and most of the waves disappear. Some ripple on the shoreline, but most, batter the surface leaving a debris to be cleaned up and then fade away till the next time.

But, there are also currents that run through the monstrous body of water. They are not as visible. Sometime you can see where the water is moving.But many currents are deep and unseen. Like the waves, they are powerful also...in a different way. Whether the weather is stormy or calm, the currents are always present. They are continually mixing the oceans, creating a pathway for life and growth, and provide a steady stream of movement.

People are like waves and currents.

We all know waves. They are the people that create controversy (good or bad), yell the loudest, and sometimes do some collateral damage with their words and actions. They loudly voice opinion, spotlight an issue, or simply create some chaos for the sake of recognition...and then as quickly as they appear, they fade into the shadows leaving a trail of debris for others to manage and clear away.

Then there are the currents. They are the people that keep ideas and movements going. They are the lifeblood, the flow and the backbone of change, virtue and social consciousness. These "currents" continue long after the waves have died down and faded away. Some are visible, but most run just under the surface and out of plain sight. They clean up after the waves. They strengthen and rebuild what the waves have deconstructed. They are satisfied and proud of not needing to be in the spotlight.

Now, of course the world needs both waves and currents. Waves can bring attention to things that need to be more visible. But if we were all waves, at the end of the storm, all we would have left would be an ocean full of broken and sunken boats with no one to rebuild them. It is from the currents that growth and change continues.

Which are you? A wave....or a current?