Crazy Little Thing Called Life

Life really is a crazy thing.  

The last couple of years has brought about so many changes, realizations and experiences.  From the loss of my sister, to the opening of my coaching and speaking business (Woman UP),  to the launching of kids into the world, to the transitions of my own aging... each new thing has brought a new realization.

Today, on the anniversary of my sister's passing - who was the same age I am now, I am feeling reflective about the things that I have learned about life.  So, bear with me, humor me, or reflect with me while I share.

What 45 years has taught me about life: 

• It takes you on twists and turns that seldom fit into your plan. 
• It brings you joys and challenges that you would never expect.  
• It is painful in ways that break you down, but also in ways that allow you to be rebuilt stronger.
• It provides opportunity for joy and service - IF you open your heart to those opportunities. 
• It is intrusive when you choose to let it happen TO you, but a bit more polite when YOU happen to it. 
• It is both happy and sad. 
• It doesn't happen solely on the mountaintops or in the depths - it happens mostly at the horizon. 
• It provides you with what you need, and what you don't. 
• It is mixed up, but so ordered at the same time. 
• It's full of colors blended in every way possible, but also starkly black and white. 
• It rolls on whether we want it to or not. 
• It is turned upside down, but always rights itself. 
• It is either suffocating or liberating - depending on what we CHOOSE it to be. 
• It is individual to each of us, yet so dependent upon others. 
• It brings and it takes. 
• It WILL bring moments, events, and experiences that you will never understand.
• It will bring you wisdom if you listen to it. 
• It is unexpected but expectant of us. 
• It resists being controlled, yet requires us to take control.
• It has its own balance - regardless of how we try to define it. 
• It runs in a time structure that is known only to it - and no matter how hard we try to schedule it, it doesn't change its structure. 
• It shows us, ultimately the things that are important. 
• It craves being cherished. 
• It despises being wasted. 
• It wants to be stamped with our unique marks and purpose. 

Ultimately, what what this list shows me  is that "existing" is easy. - that's just a matter of showing up and breathing.  BUT LIVING.... LIFE... it's complicated, it's messy, it's joyful, it's painful, it's necessary, and it's worth it.  We can take charge of it, but we can't always control it.  That's OK.  We just need to honor it by bringing our best to it. Life really is a crazy thing.

Are you honoring life by bringing your best to it?

They're Watching...

I was at the climbing gym with my middle daughter. She shared with me that I inspired her to step just a bit more. When we climb, even when I am tired, I push myself to do just one more wall, even though I know it's going to be tough. She told me that example inspires her to step out with just a bit more effort than she THINKS she has. That moment showed me how important my example to my daughters is and how important it is for me to recognize my own determination.

My oldest daughter was making her first big move away for a job and was having some anxiety over the change.  We talked about all the wonderful things that it could bring, but also that if she didn't like it, that the changes she makes in life never have to be permanent. She went on to make the move and had a wonderful growing experience but realized she wanted to be closer to family. After about 18 months she moved back. She also updated her favorite quote on Facebook to read

 "Nothing ever has to be permanent. ~ My Mom"

That showed me how impacting and lasting my words to my daughters can be. 

My youngest daughter took her first summer job.  When she started we let her know that she was responsible for getting up on her own and too work on her own.  That's a challenge for any first job, but even more considering that she had to be at work at 7am every day, and that she does not yet drive.  We have always given them accountability over themselves- the level increased as they got older.  She took on her responsibility and did it all summer long without complaining.  That showed me the importance of teaching them life skill and responsibility.  It stays with them as the step off into the world.

All of these things were not overt lessons that happened in single conversations or commands barked- although conversations were had.  They were more of lessons by example, consistency, and perseverance.  My children watched me, listened to my words, and learned from the boundaries and responsibilities of our household.  

As parents, it's difficult to see the rewards and the progress of parenting in each day.  But, it does come.  As they step into the world the impact you have had shines directly back to you like your reflection in a mirror.  They have been absorbing  how to be in the world through their relationship with you.  Certainly social examples have an influence, but at the core of their foundation, what they have watched and learned from you is what steers them. It is a huge responsibility to be such a large part of their compass.  

The next decision you make, the next words you speak, the next time you handle anger or failure, the next crisis you navigate, the next triumph you have, the next goal you work towards, the next time you show compassion - keep in mind that it sets the narrative of who your children are and how they have learned to be in the world. They can be either empowered or encumbered by what they see.  Choose wisely and steward your life in the way that fills their understanding with useful tools. 

Remember - they're watching...