Well…..it is not.
Before we became mommies, we were very different people. We were independent, active, athletic, stylish, artistic, career driven. We had time to read, time to have fun, time to relax, and time to create. We could focus on ourselves, fulfill ourselves and do self affirming things without guilt. We had a sense of who “Me” was.
But all of that changed when the little ones were born.
In that amazing, wonderful, miraculous moment that we gained the title of “Mommy,” “Me” went right out the window. Suddenly our lives transformed from an inward focus to an outward focus as our love and responsibility grew. Parties and pedicures turned to panic and poopy diapers. Worry and walking the floor replaced running with friends. Happy hour and cocktails were replaced by hiccupping and colicky babies. As the days with our newfound title passed, little by little, “Me” became a distant existence of the past.
There comes a point when “Me” comes around. She begins as a tagalong to “Mommy”. Then she tugs on “Mommy’s” skirt. Next she crawls up and rides piggy-back. Before you know it, she has your face in her hands, staring you in the eyes saying “pay attention to Me!” (Does this sound familiar?)
Do you recognize her? Do you embrace her or dismiss her? Once “Me” is there, what do you do with her?
In order to keep sanity, Mommy & Me have to find a way to successfully co-exist. Now I am not saying I am perfect, but as an AZ Mom of Many Hats – and mommy to three daughters, 12, 14, and 19, I have gone through the process of losing, finding, and incorporating my roles as mom and as myself.
It took a lot of soul searching, evaluating, and dedication (yes, it is OK to be dedicated to yourself when you are a mom…...) to find who “Me” was. I fought a war with guilt in deciding to embrace her. And it took a plan of action to assimilate my two selves.