Dear Daughters...
You have many paths and opportunities before you in life. You are amazing and beautiful creatures, full of love full of life, and full of the ability to to great things in life. Your hearts for others and for good are shining beacons in this world. You are brilliant, you sparkle, and you are dazzling.
The greatest gift you can give yourself is to take the risk, the adventure and the experience of walking those roads independently for a time. Take the opportunity to show yourself of what
YOU are capable of. This is a gift you will treasure in your life, and it will do you much good.
However, I know that there will probably be a time that you want to share those with someone else. You will be venturing on a new path and a new experience...finding "the one". That road can be scary and confusing. But, from mom to daughter, woman to woman, I impart this advice to you.
The ONE Will:
- Be passionate about you, not possessive over you.
- Complete your feeling of love, but not you. He will compliment the completeness of who you already are.
- Court you, even after he has your heart.
- Love you for who you were, who you are, and who you will become - not for who you could be.
- Not step in to fix things for you without asking, but instead support your foundations, allowing you to make the repairs on your own.
- Know when your need to be heard is more important than his need to speak.
- Consider your feelings in the decisions he makes.
- Stand up and protect you, yet not shelter to so that you don't experience the world.
- Put you on a pedestal, yet hold the ladder steady for you when you need to climb down and be human and flawed - and he will love that about you.
- Respect your boundaries.
- Not prod your painful spots, but work to be the salve that helps them heal.
- Not try to change you.
- Know when he needs to be your Knight and when you need to be the one at the reigns calling the shots.
- Trust, cherish, desire and empower you.
- Be committed to you and want to work through the tough times when they do arise - which should not be often.
- Support you in your efforts and successes.
- Comfort you in your falls.
- Encourage you to reach for your dreams, and not be jealous or intimidated when you reach them.
- Be your safe place where you can let your hopes, fears, desires, ideas,wishes, dreams, and frustrations be heard without fear of being judged.
It takes a bit of time and effort to recognize these things. Many of them take practice to hone and truly live out in a relationship. But, if you don't see at least a seed, a glimmer, a spark from the beginning, step back and take a look. If they are not there at all or if they are not growing, they may never be what you need. Don't place your hopes in them appearing "someday" and you being able to grow those seeds or ignite those sparks. They are inherent in the one for you - and in you if you are the one for them.
Relationships take work, but should never be a constant struggle or battle - especially early on. Don't ever,
EVER sell yourself short on what you are worthy of in a relationship. You were beautifully and wonderfully made. The one will recognize the prize that you are.
One more thing....
He will always open the door for you.
